


Don't Hold Me Up Now

by ladyguinevere



Category: Sons of Anarchy
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-01-01
Updated: 2015-01-29
Packaged: 2017-11-26 10:43:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 11
Words: 30,922
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/649691
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladyguinevere/pseuds/ladyguinevere
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tanya grew up on the Indian Reservation right outside of Charming, but moved away when she got married. Sometimes life changes and sometimes you just have to go home</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Nothing Ever Stays The Same

Tanya stared at herself in the mirror for the longest time. She was ready for this. She could do this. She reached up and touched the bruises on her face, blinking back the tears that filled her bright hazel eyes. She shook her head and took a deep breath as she turned herself around. She was wearing a simple outfit. A black v-neck t-shirt and a pair of well fitted dark jeans. She had her long dark brown hair pulled back in a tight pony tail. She stopped when she was facing the mirror again and she grabbed her make up and started putting it on to cover the bruises. All the other scars and marks were covered by her clothing. She had made sure of that. She sniffed a bit as she managed to make herself look less like she'd been beaten repeatedly for the last ten years. She was glad for that. She didn't need people feeling sorry for her. All her things were packed in her car. Her soon to be dead husband had headed to work. All she had to do was finish getting ready and then she could head home. She hadn't ever thought for a moment that she'd ever want to go back to that place but things change. People change. Something about this decision seemed right.

Tanya finally finished what she was doing and packed all her things in the bathroom and put them in her bookbag. She grabbed her i-pod and the charger for that, leaving her phone where it was. She'd pick up a prepay when she was out of town. She'd written down all the numbers that she needed. That wasn't many. Joe had made sure she never had friends. Never talked to anyone that he didn't want her too. He'd been smart when it came to controlling her. She hated him for that. She had fallen out of love with him less then a year after they had gotten married. She'd just been too scared to leave. Ten years. She had managed to survive the abuse and the torment. Ten years and she had finally decided she wanted to be free again.

Tanya wasn't a bad looking woman. She was in her mid-thirties, with caramel colored skin and bright hazel eyes and long dark hair. She was mixed, her mother had been white and her father Native American. She had got the best of both sides. She was only five foot and four inches tall, but she was curvy. She had married young, which had been a mistake now that she thought about it. She hadn't been ready to get married. She hadn't been ready for a lot of things. She made her way out to her car and dumped her bookbag in the passenger seat and walked around before climbing into the drivers seat. She pulled the door shut and started her car, sitting there for a moment before backing out of the drive way. It didn't take her long before she was finally on the road. Where she was headed, she thought she would always hate, but now, it was the only place left where she'd be safe.

The drive was a long one, almost seven hours. She had got herself a prepaid phone and made some calls. They were expecting her back. She was glad for that. She knew that Joe was well aware that she wasn't there anymore. He was probably trying to find her. He would have to go back to the one place he dragged her away from for that to happen. The one place she had been willing to leave because it hadn't been home to her then. Charming, California. She sighed a bit. She actually had grown up on a reservation about ten minutes outside of Charming, but her father had been the chief. He had worked closely with the bike club that was located in Charming. She knew most of the members. It had been ten years, she knew that some of them would be different now. She didn't mind really. However, she had kept one particular number after her father had passed away. Gemma Teller. That woman was tough as nails, and her husband was President of SAMCRO. She had kept that number because her father insisted that she might need it some day. She was glad she had. Gemma was waiting for her arrival back home. At least someone was, since not only was her father gone, as was her mother.

She saw the sign, the sun was just coming up, and she had driven through most of the night, stopping long enough to doze in and out for two or three hours, and get something to eat through the day. She blinked at the sight of the sign. Welcome to Charming. She gave a small sigh of relief and then pressed on. Only a few more miles and she would be there. She could rest, really rest, get some real food, maybe a shower and change her clothing. She hoped that she didn't cause any issues for anyone by being there. She didn't want to be a burden. She really didn't want pity or to be taken care of. She just needed a place to get back on her feet after all the years she'd spent locked away from the world.

She didn't need help finding Teller-Morrow automotive's. She didn't need help making her way through his town. Ten years and she still knew it like the back of her hand. It was funny how time didn't change much in this sleepy little town. She found the place, and she pulled up into the parking lot, and found a spot before shutting her car off. She sat there for a moment before checking to make sure that her bruises were still covered nicely before finally climbing out of her car. Gemma's Cadillac was there and she saw that the garage was opening up for business for the day. She took a deep breath as she started forward to find the woman. She hoped that she was really welcome here and that she wouldn't get grief when she actually saw Gemma face to face. She hoped that no one noticed how stiff she was, from the beatings and her body still healing from the latest of them. That no one picked up on the way she covered the bruises on her face. She wanted to stand on her own, she didn't need someone to hold her up. She was fully capable of healing. She just needed time to do it. A place to lay her head really.

Tanya looked around for a moment, taking in everything. She hadn't been here before without her father, back before she moved away, before she got married and her life went down hill. They hadn't come here often though, usually the men of SAMCRO went to them, went to the reservation where the local law couldn't touch them. It was a smart plan on their part honestly. She turned her attention back to the garage itself and not so much to everything surrounding it when she caught movement. She saw to whom she would assume was Gemma Teller coming out of the office with an older man and one she recognized growing up. Clay Morrow and Jackson Teller. Her husband and her son. She shook her head and started forward, feeling a bit nervous about all of this, though at this point she absolutely refused to second guess her decision. She deserved much better then what she had been dealing with over the last decade.

Gemma noticed Tanya and stopped and looked at her for a moment before touching her husband's arm and started forward. Tanya had stopped short herself, and really didn't know what to do from here. She hadn't known any of them really well, and she hadn't been in this place in so long. She was starting to feel like a stranger in her own home. That wasn't good at all. There was no way that could be considered okay. Right?

“Tanya Morrison?”Gemma asked as she stopped in front of the woman, looking at her closely as if she was looking for any reason to believe that it wasn't the girl.

“Yeah, Gemma, it's me.”Tanya said, though she couldn't quite bring herself to meet Gemma's gaze. She hated that all the shit in her life had left her that broken, but she would find a way to better herself somehow.

“Oh goodness, baby, it's been so long.”Gemma said and managed the most motherly smile that Tanya had ever seen, before embracing her.

Tanya had to fight off a wince, and her breath caught as Gemma hugged her tight. She was shaking as she was now in severe pain, but she managed to hug Gemma back. She was fighting off tears when Gemma pulled away, but she swallowed the pain and smiled back at Gemma.

“I'm so glad you made it here alright, you didn't have any troubles getting back to Charming, did you?”Gemma said, though the woman was studying Tanya, seeing past the mask that the poor girl was choosing to wear.

“Yeah I managed to get myself here without any problems, thanks for asking.”Tanya answered honestly, because it had been true. She had left her phone, so Joe couldn't call her, and she had driven without thinking twice about where she was headed or why. No problems in that whole area.

“A few people from the reservation called, asking if you were coming into town, apparently Joe doesn't know where you are and called there looking for you.”Gemma explained, lowering her voice so that this part of the conversation was just between Tanya and herself.

“I didn't tell him I was leaving, it would have never happened, and until I can get this issue with Joe actually taken care of, I think it's best my friends on the reservation don't know I'm back either,”Tanya replied softly.

“Alright, I can make sure that happens without an issue,”Gemma assured her, giving a smile and a nod of her head.

“Thank you Gemma, I'll make it up to you somehow.”Tanya said softly and managed a smile of her own.

Gemma was getting ready to say something when a tall man with dark curly hair and bright blue eyes brushed past Tanya smiling at Gemma as he walked past, and Tanya seemed to freeze without meaning to. Gemma sighed and looked over at the man and frowned a bit, and he seemed to pause and finally take in the fact that he'd nearly ran someone down. He studied Tanya for a moment before looking at Gemma who was giving him a stern look.

“What?”He finally asked, before looking at the girl again,”What?”

“Apologize for acting like a brute.”Gemma told him and put her hands on her hips.

“I didn't do anything, Gem,”The man argued lightly, before sighing and rolling his bright blue eyes before turning them on the girl,”I'm sorry.”

“Oh...it's...it's really not a big deal, don't worry about it.”Tanya managed to get out as she shoved her hands in her pockets so she would look less like she was getting ready to have a panic attack and more like she was trying to relax and speak with an old friend.

“See Gemma, I'm forgiven.”The man said and gave her a cold smile.

“Tigger,”Gemma snapped lightly,”This is my friend, and you shouldn't just assume that she is actually forgiving you,”

“Gemma, darling, you know I didn't mean it, and clearly, being any friend of yours, had it really bothered her, she'd have let me know.”The man, apparently called Tigger, which confused Tanya, said to Gemma, acting as if he were a child getting in serious trouble.

“Really, Gemma, it's alright,”Tanya said and managed a smile before looking at the man,”You're alright, I'm sure you just didn't see me standing there.”

“See, I'm alright, just like the pretty lady said.”The man said evenly,”Now can I go back to work?”

“Tig, seriously, you're an ape.”Tanya heard someone else say and she looked over to see a man with long hair and a beard walking towards them, shaking his head and laughing.

“I didn't see her there, so I accidentally brushed past her, it's not like I tried to rape her or anything.”Tig argued and rolled his eyes,”You guys can suck my dick.”

Tanya just stood there for the longest time, just staring at the man with the icy blue eyes as he told the rest of them to suck his dick. She wasn't really sure what to do with him. He was a bit of a brute, but she wasn't really one to stand up to people. She knew that already. The bruises on her face proved that. She just rolled her eyes lightly and sighed before kicking at the ground a bit. She wanted a nap really. All that driving had taken everything out of her for the moment.

“Well Tig, maybe you should be a little more polite and everyone wouldn't be on your case all the time.”Gemma said to him and rolled her eyes when he snorted at her. She wanted to smack the living daylights out of him sometimes.

“I don't know how to be polite, it's not in my resume.”Tig retorted.

“Oh really now, and why do I have trouble believing that?”Gemma snapped right back,”Even Happy has a heart sometimes, so don't tell me you ain't some cold heartless bastard.”

“Thanks Gem, gotta play that card, dontcha?”He said and rolled his eyes before looking back at Tanya,”Apparently I'm a brute, and apparently I have really upset you, though you don't look upset, so I'll apologize again, and my name's Tig Trager.”

“Uh...once again, it's alright, and lovely to meet you Tig, I'm Tanya.”She managed to reply, giving a small nod of her head, not really sure what else to say to that. She saw the glint in Gemma's eyes, the woman was thrilled she had won that one. Tanya wanted to laugh a bit, but she knew better, she had to just keep her mouth shut and she wouldn't get smacked around anymore.


	2. This is just the beginning

Tig had managed to get himself back to work, trying not to really think about what had happened there. That girl had been overly submissive. She had worked hard to not make anyone upset. He glanced over to see Gemma speaking with her again, and she was looking a little off. He narrowed his bright blue eyes as he waited to see what was so special about her. Why was Gemma helping her? He almost wanted to ask, but he didn't want Gemma ripping into him again. The girl seemed weak. Afraid. That made her an easy target. He shook the thoughts away and got himself back to work, wanting to get this car finished before the end of the work day simply because he didn't want to fall behind any this week. His club dues needed to be paid and so did his bills. He had to make some money.

Tanya glanced over towards the man when he finally started back towards the garage before looking at Gemma again. She was feeling a little overwhelmed right now and she wanted to sit down, maybe get herself something to eat and get a nap. She knew that Gemma was watching her closely, making sure that she was really okay. Gemma was aware of why Tanya had returned, and that was only because Tanya knew that Gemma would need the whole truth to fully trust her reasons for coming home.

“Tanya...you know your safe don't you?”Gemma said softly,”He wont find you here, this will be the last place he'd expect you to go,”

“That's...probably where you're wrong, but I'm trying not to think about that right now, I am just trying to relax despite all the people at the moment.”Tanya replied lightly,”Most of these guys weren't here the last time I was.”

“Ah yes, this is true, but you'll get to know them, and believe me, they aren't going to lay a hand on you.”Gemma said and touched Tanya's shoulder,”You're home, baby girl, I promise.”

“I know, Gemma, I'm aware that I'm safe now.”Tanya said and looked down at the ground,”I'm just adjusting is all, I'll be just fine, I don't need to be babied or anything.”

“I know this, darling, and I wasn't.”Gemma said quickly, as if she were trying to toughen up a bit and be her usual stern hard ass self instead of this motherly woman trying to comfort a child.

“Sure, sure.”Tanya replied lightly and shook her head,”Alright well, you said you'd have everything ready for me...where am I staying?”

“Well baby girl, I can take you over to the apartment right now that I got leased out for you.”Gemma suggested,”I can bring one of the boys to help you get your stuff inside, we worked all day yesterday getting furniture and such in.”

“Oh...well that would be just fine, I would appreciate that.”Tanya said with a nod of her head. She really didn't have that much stuff but something told her that if she tried to argue, she'd lose anyway.

“Alright, I'll drag Tig along since he wanted to argue with me,”Gemma said, though she was really speaking more to herself then she was to Tanya at that point as she had turned and started back towards the garage, her hands on her hips as she moved.

Tanya just stood there, her hands still in her pockets before she glanced towards Opie and Jax who were watching Gemma heading towards the garage. Tanya wasn't really sure why Gemma was making that man go, since he was clearly busy, but she wasn't going to argue with the Queen Bee of this place. She really didn't think that it would do her or anyone a whole lot of good at the moment. She rocked back on her heels a bit and then turned to start back towards her car, figuring she could go wait there instead of being so awkward right here. She hated feeling like this. She was well aware that she was better then what Joe had made her feel, but it was going to be a hard habit to break.

Tig had his hands busy and his mind blank as he was working hard on this little Chevelle. These cars made him crazy. The people who owned them never took proper care of them, on top of them not being the worlds greatest things anyway. He paused for a moment and turned, wiping the sweat off his forehead and smearing grease in it's place as he looked at Gemma for a moment. He loved the woman but he was pretty sure he was going to kill her if she didn't let him get some work done.

“Yeah?”He said and raised an eyebrow as he winced against the morning sun shining into the actual garage, almost blinding him.

“I want you to go with me and help Tanya get herself out of her car, I don't know how much she has, but she doesn't need to be putting a lot of strain on herself.”Gemma instructed him, leaving no room for argument.

“Gem, really?”He asked with a grunt,”Why ya doin' this to me, why are you so mean to me?”

“It's called tough love, Tigger, now let's go,”Gemma said and turned without saying anything else and headed towards her Cadillac.

Tig finally just shook his head and pulled off his work shirt and put it in his locker before getting his cut and pulling it on over his black t-shirt. He cleaned his hands off the best he could and started after Gemma, rolling his bright blue eyes as he moved. He wondered what he had done other then accidentally bump her friend to deserve her undying attention and demands. He sighed a bit as he walked over to his bike and climbed on, starting it up and straddling the machine for a moment, just letting it rumble underneath him as he waited for Gemma and that Tanya girl to start ahead of him so that he would be able to follow them to the apartment or house, or whatever this girl was going to be living in.

Tanya waited until Gemma had pulled out and she followed behind, looking in her rear view mirror to see that the man named Tig was following after them. She sighed a bit as she turned on her radio and let the music fill the void. She wondered if it was a small apartment or a big one. She was hoping for a smaller one. She didn't need a whole lot of space. She didn't have a whole lot of stuff. Just what she could fit in her car, which, since her car wasn't all that big, went back to the thought that she didn't own a whole lot. She blinked a bit as she made a left turn down main street, wondering where this place was. Gemma was keeping it close to the clubhouse, that much Tanya was already sensing. Was Gemma thinking that something was going to happen that Tanya hadn't planned for? She wasn't sure. She didn't want to know really. She was still afraid, and Joe was almost two thousand miles away. This was no way to live. She was going to have to do something before she lost her mind. She was well aware of that.

Tanya saw the apartment complex, it was a nice one, but it wasn't something that was going to be out of her price range. She was so thankful Gemma had kept that in mind as she pulled into the parking lot and shut her car off. She climbed out and tugged at her shirt, wincing slightly at how stiff her body was. She looked over to see Gemma climbing out of her car and Tig getting off his bike. She really didn't need the help but she wasn't sure how to just voice this without seeming like she was being rude. She was fully capable of taking care of herself, even if she did hurt right now. She turned and started for her trunk, but Gemma caught her arm and shook her head. Tanya looked confused for the longest moment before sighing a bit.

“I want you to come see first, then you can move in and get comfortable.”Gemma explained with a sweet smile,”Besides, I don't want you lifting anything, we'll leave that up to Tig.”

“Gemma...”Tanya started to argue, keeping her voice low, but Gemma had cut her off before she could actually get the thought out.

“No...not right now, you don't need that strain on yourself, and you know it.”Gemma said with a solid nod of her head,”Now come on, let's go see.”

Tig was watching the go between with the two women, keeping himself silent and out of the way. Tanya didn't seem all that thrilled over the fact that he was here. He really could care less, well, almost. He wondered what he had done to make her want him out of the way, or if it was even him at all. What if she was just a lesbian man hater in general? That was likely. That would be his luck. A cute little submissive girl that hates men. Go figure. He watched as Gemma led this Tanya girl towards the apartment that was apparently hers, and Tig turned and followed behind them, just acting as muscle, which really wasn't all that surprising at all. He was the Sargent at Arms, and he was usually doing things like playing muscle and doing the dirty work for the club. Why was this any different?

Tanya sighed and stepped back out of Gemma's way and watched as the woman pulled the key out of her purse and unlocked the door. When Gemma turned and handed her the key, she held her hand out and took it effortlessly, and shoved it in her pocket. She'd put it on her key ring later. She followed Gemma inside, trying hard to ignore the wall of man behind her. His presence was almost intimidating in a sense. She wasn't sure why. He just definitely came off as someone that you didn't mess with, and she wouldn't. She didn't want to get herself into any trouble, not yet anyway, she wasn't ready for that. She looked around for a moment and was taken aback.

The living room alone had her feeling surprised. This was almost to much. There was brown leather furniture, and stuff from her Reservation on the walls to help her feel more at home. There was a television with an entertainment center. There was a beautiful green rug on the floor. All the floors were hard wood on top of that. She just stared at everything for a moment before she started forward again. She had to say that she was still slightly in shock. She was going to find a way to pay Gemma back for all this stuff. It was too much. She had a beautiful oak wood dining table with matching chairs, and stainless steel appliances in the kitchen, along with new cookware and dishes. She blinked a bit as she walked around it for a moment. She then turned and looked at Gemma, not really paying attention to the fact that Tig was still here.

“This...this is to much.”She stuttered over her words, not really sure if she should be happy or heart broken that someone cares this much.

“Darling, you need all this stuff, you've got to have a place to live.”Gemma argued lightly as she set her purse down on the counter,”And it's close enough to the clubhouse that you'll be safe.”

“No...I mean, I'm very thankful, but really...you've put more money into this apartment then I could ever pay you back for.”Tanya explained and shook her head as her eyes filled with tears,”I'm very grateful that you want to help me, that you will, but this...is a lot of stuff...to much apartment for me.”

“Hun, it's a one bed, one bath...it's not big, you're just...you've got to adjust is all, you'll be alright.”Gemma assured her as she walked over and wrapped her arms around her,”You'll be okay, I promise.”

Tig was watching what was happening with cautious eyes. What was going on here? He knew that the guys had spent yesterday setting up this apartment, and Gemma had been fretting since yesterday morning over getting everything to look perfect. Why was this woman here, why was she needing the club to keep her safe? He wasn't sure he liked this a whole lot. She was scared, and she was crying, and she was being overly emotional over everything. Women scared him worst then anything in the world sometimes. He wanted to figure out what was going on here though. More importantly he wanted to know if she was a lesbian man hater or not, because she was just submissive enough to be lots of fun in bed. Tig was well aware how wrong it was to think with his dick right now, but, that was how he was all the time, he wasn't going to change over one person. Right?


	3. Safer to break alone

Tanya regained herself after a moment, realizing that Tig was still there, and she reached up, running her fingers through her hair. Gemma looked pleased that the woman wasn't willing to argue anymore, at least right at this moment.  
“Alright, so let's get your things moved in, sound good?”Gemma said, giving a gentle smile to the war torn woman.  
“Yeah, sounds good to me.”Tanya said easily, before turning, glancing up at Tig only slightly, then started towards the door.  
“Now Tig, don't let her lift a whole lot,”Gemma said, as Tig turned to follow after the woman.  
Tanya paused and huffed lightly, giving a good shake of her head before she continued forward. Tig glanced down at her, and made a face, before glancing back at Gemma, giving a solid nod of his head. Tanya paused at the car and looked down, noticing that in the reflection, she looked exhausted, worn down. Tanya quickly turned away from that and started towards the trunk. Her whole car was full, but in retrospect, she didn't have the amount of things that one would imagine another having in ten years time.  
Tanya yanked the ring where she'd put the keys to her apartment, which also held her car key, and stuck the key into the lock, popping the trunk open with a small turn. She yanked the key out and shoved the whole thing back into her pocket, before lifting the lid of the trunk completely up. She glanced back at Tig and gave a small smile, before reaching for one of the boxes.  
“Where do you want this stuff?”Tig asked, as he moved to stand beside her, glancing to make sure it wasn't a big box she was trying to lift.  
“Just set them in the living room, if you don't mind.”Tanya said simply.  
“Alright,”Tig said simply, before lifting the box and walking off.  
Tanya stood there for a moment, before grabbing the box she'd been reaching for, and lifted it up. Her sides were instantly screaming, but it didn't stop her, she started away from her car, and towards the apartment, watching as Tig walked in front of her, and Tanya wondered idly for a moment when he'd come into Sons, because she didn't remember him before.  
It only took about twenty minutes, between her and Tig, to get everything inside, and she shut the trunk of her car, before leaning against the cool metal, staring up at the front door. Gemma had already started unpacking her clothing and putting it away, and Tig was standing outside smoking. At some point, Tanya needed to go to the store and buy food, but not yet. She'd give it a few hours to wind down before she did anything else. Tanya sighed and pushed away from the car and started towards Tig, giving a bit of a smile as she stopped a bit away from him.  
“Could I bum one off of you?”She asked, frustrated that she mumbled that, instead of speaking like a normal person.  
“Yeah, but you gotta actually walk up to me and get it.”Tig said easily, flashing a brilliant smile at her.  
“Fine.”Tanya said simply, and took a deep breath as she held her head up a bit, walking towards him, though careful not to get to close. She had a thing about staying just out of arms reach of a man. Ten years of abuse does that to a person.  
“That's better.”Tig said simply, before taking a cigarette out of the pack and handing it to her.  
“Thanks,”Tanya said, as she received the cigarette and then a lighter.  
“So...what's your story anyway?”Tig asked, taking a drag off of his cigarette, eyeing her carefully.  
“What do you mean?”Tanya asked, blinking her eyes as if she were innocent to what he meant.  
“Why is Gemma and the club so quick to help you?”  
“It's a long story, but I knew the club when I was younger, my father did business with them, so when I needed help, and having no blood family, I figured they were the ones I needed to talk to,”Tanya said easily, as she flicked the ash off the tip of her cigarette.  
“So what could a little girl like you have done to need the club's help?”Tig asked, raising an eyebrow, he was going to get answers out of her, he was determined to figure out what was going on.  
“It doesn't matter, I didn't do anything, just found myself in a bad situation that I couldn't get out of alone.”She said easily, brushing him off with a light smile, looking down at the ground, having trouble keeping eye contact with him.  
“You make it hard to believe your trustworthy.”Tig replied simply.  
“Who said I wanted your trust anyway?”Tanya retorted, looking up long enough to shoot him a glare, before looking away again.  
“Well, since Clay relies on me for a lot of things, I suppose having my trust would be a good idea.”  
“Clay relies on you, not me, so don't try and manipulate me into talking about things better left alone.”Tanya hissed, before flicking the cigarette away, turning herself away from Tig to head inside.  
“Are you like some lesbian man-hater or something?”  
Tanya paused and turned back to look at Tig, taking a moment to actually meet his gaze, her eyes giving away the anger boiling inside of her. She gritted her teeth, and clenched her hands into fits, before taking a deep breath, shaking her head before she did something that would get her smacked around. She didn't want to be hit again because she didn't know how to keep her mouth shut.  
“No, I'm not a lesbian.”She said simply, before disappearing inside.  
Tig just stood there for a moment, staring at the empty door way. There was some fight in this girl, but she didn't let it show. She was the most submissive human being he was certain he'd ever met. She wanted to say a lot more then she had, and he wondered idly what had kept her from doing so. It was like watching those battered women commercials on the television. Was that why she was here? He certainly hoped not, even he would never go so far as to beat on a woman, and he'd done a lot of screwed up things in his life.  
Tanya took a deep breath when she realized that he hadn't followed after her, and closed her eyes for a moment. She wanted to be alone for a moment, feeling overwhelmed from all the people contact, and the fear of her ex-husband figuring out where she went. She bit her lip and took another deep breath, not paying attention to the fact that he had in fact followed her inside, and now Gemma was also in the living room, both of them watching quietly as she fought off an anxiety attack.  
“Darlin', you okay?”Gemma finally spoke up, glancing at Tig, trying to decide if he was the cause.  
Tanya jumped a bit and turned half to the side, looking at Gemma carefully for a moment, before giving a small smile and a nod of her head. Tig snorted, clearly not believing her, and rolled his eyes. Gemma looked at him for a moment, one eyebrow arched, and lips pursed, before giving a smile to Tanya, as if trying to reassure her.  
“Are you sure?”Gemma asked again.  
“Just...overwhelmed is all, I'll be alright after some rest.”Tanya said easily.  
“You make a habit of lyin' to people who try to help you?”Tig asked, taking a step back at the look he received from Gemma over the comment.  
“No, I don't, but no offense, I don't trust you, I don't like men right now, and I don't want you standing there listening while I am in the midst of a life crisis, so forgive me if I come off as a raging lesbian man hater and a liar.”Tanya snapped back, before closing her mouth tightly, and taking an involuntary step backwards, as if suddenly afraid,”I'm sorry....I've said to much, I'm so sorry.”  
“Tanya, relax.”Gemma said, reaching out and putting a hand on the woman's shoulder,”Don't apologize, he shouldn't have been rude like that.”  
“But..”Tanya started and blinked at Gemma, that fear still bright in her eyes.  
“But nothing, I told you that chapter was done, now have faith it wont happen anymore, alright.”Gemma said softly, speaking under breath so that it was just between herself and Tanya.  
“O-okay.”  
“Tig, why don't we go, so that Tanya can rest, she had a long day yesterday, and could probably use a hot shower.”Gemma said, looking up at the man who was just staring, clearly confused as to what was going on.  
“Uh..alright Gem, no problem.”Tig replied, finally tearing his eyes away from the fragile woman in front of him.  
“You've got my number if you need anything Tanya.”Gemma said sweetly, before giving the woman a kiss on the cheek.  
One Tanya was alone, she walked over to the couch, and slipped down, tears streaming down her cheek. She had been so afraid he was going to hit her, she had been afraid of speaking up for herself. What had she become? She sniffed and shook her head, a small hiccup slipping through her lips as she continued to cry. She hated this, feeling so weak, being so afraid. She wanted to be the person she'd been ten years ago. Strong, independent, out spoken, so many things are about herself that she missed, and she wasn't sure she'd ever get them back. She had to find a way though, even if it killed her.


	4. The Fear of Taking Chances

Tanya spent the next few weeks just getting readjusted. She was starting to feel a bit better, though when it came to being face to face with anyone other then Gemma, she was struggling, as she probably would for a long while, to do anything other then shy away, and act like they had already hit her, though everyone was nothing but kind to her.  
She arrived at the garage, as Gemma had given her a job there, working in the office to allow Gemma to enjoy time with her grandsons, and Tanya smiled a bit at Juice and Chibs as they walked past, though she didn't keep eye contact long. She was nervous about all this, she wasn't sure to what extent her ex husband would go to in order to find her. She didn't even know if he was looking. She hoped not, she hoped that he was thrilled she had left, and that he wasn't looking, or angry, or trying to come after her. That was a false hope, she realized, but none the less, it was one that she wanted to be true.  
“How are you this morning?”A voice rang out, getting her attention, causing her to look up for a moment, seeing that it was Tig.  
“Doing alright, and yourself?”She said, giving only the hint of a smile, just trying to be polite.  
“I'm good,”Tig replied, before returning to work.  
Tanya just nodded her head, and slipped into the office, keeping the door open since the window ac was broken at the moment, though they told her someone was coming in a day or two to fix it. She was alright with just the air blowing in, but she wasn't going to argue. She sat down and started typing on the computer, trying to get everything that was on paper into the system, because apparently no one here realized until she started working, that it made life that much easier. She didn't mind, there was enough here to keep her busy for months, she was certain of it.  
Most of her day was spent just typing away, having stopped long enough to eat lunch, and then it was back to work. The sun was going down, and Jax stepped into the office to let her know it was time to head home. She thanked him, and started shutting everything down, turning to pick up her purse, and grab the keys to her car. She had traded the one she'd driven here for a newer one, something a little better then the beat up stationwagon she'd been driving. She liked sighed a bit as she turned and started out of the office, only to be stopped by Tig stepping in the way of the door.  
“Want to get a bite to eat?”He asked, grinning at her.  
“With you?”She asked, raising an eyebrow, suspicion clear in her eyes.  
“Who else would I send you to dinner with?”He asked with a bit of a laugh.  
“With you, there is no telling what you're planning,”She said simply, as she ducked and slipped past him so that she was outside now.  
“You make a good point, however, yes, I'm asking if you'll grab a bit to eat with me, I'm not hooking you up with some strange man.”He said easily, flashing another brilliant smile at her.  
“Alright, where are we going?”She said, as she adjusted her purse on her shoulder, still not sure about him, still not liking him all that much.  
“I don't know, there's a diner in town, got some good food, you'd like it, I think.”He answered, as he wiped his hands off on his jeans.  
“Uh...sure, sounds good.”She said easily, and then started for her car.  
“Where you going?”He asked, as he watched her, grinning a bit as she stopped to look at him again.  
“To my car, to follow you there.”She replied, narrowing her eyes at him,”Why?”  
“You don't wanna ride on my bike?”  
“That would require trusting that you wont kill me, and I don't yet.”  
“Oh come on, I'm as safe as a puppy.”  
“Puppies bite.”She retorted, giving a sickly sweet smile.  
“Just once, I swear it'll be alright.”  
“No, I'll just follow you.”She said, before looking down at the ground,”Just let me follow you there, please.”  
“Alright, alright,”Tig said, shaking his head with a bit of a grunt. He was going to figure this one out, it had become a personal mission to get her in his bed, and he was hoping that a bike ride and dinner would do the trick, but there was still some time, they hadn't even had dinner yet.  
Tanya slipped into her car, and listened as Tig's bike roared to life, and watched as he started towards the entrance of the parking lot. She pulled out and quickly followed after him. They were slightly touch and go, and most of the time, she wanted to drive a pen through his eye. She wasn't really sure why she agreed to do this, as he wasn't exactly at the top of her list of people she'd want to spend any more time then necessary with, but she was just going to roll with it. She didn't have a choice now, it would be rude to just bail on a free dinner.  
The ride there was short, and she parked next to his bike, waiting until he had climbed off, before stepping out of her vehicle. She smiled a bit at him, as she adjusted her purse, and started forward. She wasn't sure what he was up to, but at least he wasn't being an ass, like usual. She sighed a bit and looked up at Tig, who was reaching out to grab the door, holding it open for her. She stepped inside, and the smell of food hit her nose, and her stomach growled. She was hungry, though she hadn't realized how much so until the prospect of eating was right in front of her.  
Tanya set down once they were lead to a table, and placed her purse just under her seat. She picked up the menu and looked it over for a moment, quickly deciding that a big hamburger with some home made fries sounded wonderful. She let the waitress know she wanted some sweet tea when the woman came over, and then looked across the table at Tig. What was he planning anyway. There was nothing about this man that screamed his intentions were pure, and that bothered Tanya, because she wasn't about to allow herself into a situation that she couldn't get out of.  
“Are you always so quiet?”Tig asked after a moment, and Tanya noticed he was clearly studying her as well.  
“I tend to be, yes.”She said simply, giving a bit of a smile.  
“Why is that, you've got fire, I've seen that first hand, why kept it under wraps, afraid someone might actually like that?”He said with a bit of a laugh, clearly trying to poke the bear.  
“I have learned that the best thing I can do is just keep my mouth shut, and therefore, I don't speak much.”She said simply, rolling her eyes lightly at him.  
“So what's your story anyway?”He asked, leaning forward, arms crossed and resting on the table.  
“I might tell you, but am I going to get your story?”She responded easily, raising an eyebrow at him, as if challenging him.  
“I ain't got a story sister, I'm just a biker with an attitude problem.”  
“I believe you should add terrible liar on that list of things you are.”  
“You act like you know a whole lot, don't ya?”He snipped lightly, his fingers tapping lightly on the table as he watched her closely.  
“I think I know somethings, though I don't know everything, however, I suppose you could say a know a whole lot.”She retorted, glancing down at his fingers tapping on the table, causing her heart to race. She was making him mad, and she was probably going to pay for that later. Wait, what was she saying, none of the SAMCRO guys were going to knock her around, Gemma had promised her that. Gemma wasn't here though.  
“Look, you don't talk about yourself, you act as if you're just part of the background, nobody is just naturally like that, so what happened to you?”Tig finally spoke, noticing that she was getting a bit nervous all of a sudden.  
“I made a mistake, and now I'm suffering for it, what else would you like to know?”  
“That's not exactly the truth, now is it?”  
“Why are you nosy?”  
“Look, is it so bad that I want to know more about you...I mean, it's not like I'm going to use the information to break into your house or hack your computer or something.”  
“It doesn't matter Tig, it's something that I have to deal with, and those that absolutely have to know, do, otherwise, it isn't something I want as public information.”  
“I wont make it public, just talk to me, I really do want to get to know you.”  
“You probably just want to get into my pants.”  
“That's a tad shallow, isn't it?”  
“I...I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like...I guess..”Tanya stuttered, embarrassed with herself for having said that, she reached up and rubbed her face,”I simply assume that about you, cause I've seen how you act at the clubhouse.”  
“Maybe that's just me tryin' to find someone worth my time?”He suggested, giving her a small grin.  
“I doubt that, but if that's the story you want to tell yourself, then I can roll with that.”She said with a bit of a laugh as she looked up to see their food bring brought over.  
The rest of the meal was whether quiet, and she was rolling things around in her mind. She wasn't sure she was going to take a moment to even allow herself to trust him, but he hadn't done anything to say otherwise. He was curious about her, though whether it was just a game he was playing, or was sincere, she didn't know, and that made her a little nervous. She wasn't ready to trust people yet, it had been a long ten years and those wounds weren't healing over night.  
After they'd finished eating, Tig paid for everything, and stood, holding his hand out to help Tanya up. She hesitated for a moment before taking his hand and standing up as well. She tried to hide the fact that she was wanting to move away from him now, keep herself just out of reach of his fist. She remembered how her ex was at first, so kind and full of affection,first, always making her smile, and laugh. It wasn't until they'd been married for about six months that things started to get bad, and she started to regret ever loving him in the first place. She knew that all men weren't like that, but it was hard to tell until you really know someone, who is and who isn't, so until then, she trusted nobody.  
She let go of Tig the moment they were outside and headed straight for her car, knowing that he was following right behind her. She turned and blinked at how close he was, she was just at her car, and really didn't have far that she could back up, so she just stared at him, distrust clear in her eyes. She wasn't sure what game he was playing, but she wanted him to move back, and now.  
“I'm not going to hurt you, Tanya, you look like I'm holding a knife to your throat.”Tig said as he watched her for a moment.  
“Please take a step back.”She said softly, before looking down.  
“What happened to you?”  
“A lot of things, don't worry yourself with my issues.”  
Tig narrowed his eyes, and sighed a bit before moving forward again, this time reaching out and touching her arm. Tanya jumped, and found her back pressed up against the car, and looking up at his face. Tig had moved his hand, but hadn't stepped back any, though the look on his face let her know that her reaction had caught him by surprise.  
“Tig, I just want to go home now, alright.”She said simply, as she started to move away from him.  
“You don't hate men, you're terrified of them.”He replied to her statement, which made her freeze again,”Why?”  
“Reasons, now, please, just get on your bike, and leave me be for the night.”  
Tig didn't move, and Tanya was starting to feel her heart race, her chest tighten, a panic attack lingering in the background. She wanted him to leave her alone, so that she could go home and sleep, and forget that she'd completely freaked out on him. Instead, he didn't move, he didn't leave her alone, he reached up and tugged her chin gently, so that she was looking at him, and his lips crushed hers for a moment. She flinched at first and started to pull away, before something just made her stop and give in. She wasn't really sure as to why she'd do that, he was a threat, he could easily turn on her just like her ex had. She should be pushing him away, screaming for help, instead, she was letting her lips part as his tongue pushed, allowing him access to explore. A moment passed and he pulled away, grinning at her just slightly, as she simply stared at him in shock. She honestly was unaware of what to do with him at this moment.  
“Tig, you don't want to know why I'm afraid of men, and tonight I'm not telling you anything, this should stop right here, and you should just go home or something.”She said after a moment, after taking several deep breaths to calm herself down.  
“Can I come home with you?”  
“No.”


	5. So the truth comes out

Tanya was still a bit unnerved by Tig's move, and she chose to stay clear of him for a few days, possibly longer if she could pull it off. She doubted that she would have that opportunity however, since she worked at the garage, and there was someone always checking on her at her apartment. She sighed a bit as she shut the door to the office, and sat down, and began going through some more paper work. She was nearly half way done with converting everything to electronic, and was pretty proud of herself over that. She sipped on her coffee when the phone rang. Tanya wasted no time reaching over and bringing the phone to her ear.  
“Teller-Morrow Automotives, how can I help you?”She spoke, sounding very professional as she did so.  
“I'm looking for a missing woman, she was from near there, her name is Tanya, I was wondering if, as I know her dad had some history with the group, if she might have come there.”A voice spoke on the other end, causing Tanya to freeze.  
“I'm sorry, I'm not sure who you're talking about, let me get the owner and he'll be able to help you.”She replied, before putting the phone on hold, and shooting up out of her chair. He was looking for her.  
She rushed out of the office, and started scanning the small area, looking for Gemma or Jax. She wasn't going to continue to talk to this man. He had done so much to her, and she didn't think she would ever fully heal from that. She saw Jax, but near him was Tig. She sighed a bit, so much for her plan of avoidance. She started towards the two men, hands shoved in her pockets, trying to look casual, as she graced them both with a faltering smile.  
“Tanya, whatcha need?”Jax spoke, his blue eyes studying her closely.  
“There's someone on the phone for you, and I can't give him the answers he needs.”She said, trying to look as pleasant as possible.  
“Who is it?”He asked, tilting his head a bit before looking towards the office.  
“Er...he uh...didn't give his name,”She said with a bit of a shrug.  
Tig narrowed his eyes, and then looked at Jax. This woman was a terrible liar. He kept his mouth shut however, since she was seeming to make it a point to not talk to him. Jax seemed to catch on that she wasn't telling the whole truth, and raised an eyebrow, crossing his arms over his chest, causing Tanya to flinch and step back. She looked down for a moment, and then looked towards the office. She didn't want to say anything, not in front of Tig, because then he'd expect her to tell him what was going on, and she didn't want to. This was need to know basis.  
“Jax...it's an issue that you need to handle, because I can't...because this is important, now please go answer the phone.”She said, trying hard to plead with the man without saying out right what was going on.  
“Follow me.”Jax said simply, glancing back at Tig,”I'll be right back.”  
“Alright brother.”Tig replied with a small nod of his head.  
Tanya just passed Tig a glance before quickly following after Jax. She really didn't want to go back in there, she didn't want to hear that voice ever again. She felt her heart racing, her throat growing tight, as she struggled to honestly find air to breath. She was terrified, and she had every reason to be. They stepped into the office, and he picked up the phone, taking it off hold. Jax only glanced at Tanya before looking down for a moment.  
“Jax Teller, anything I can help you with?”He spoke into the phone.  
“Yes, I am looking for my wife, she went missing a few weeks ago, and I didn't know if maybe you'd seen her around...her name is Tanya, she grew up on the Reservation just outside of Charming, and I know her dad was good friends with Clay Morrow...anything you can help me with?”The man on the other end spoke,”I'm really desperate for information, I'm worried she's hurt or worst...I just want to know she's okay.”  
“Look man, I haven't seen her, and honestly, from what information has been passed my way, even if I had, I wouldn't help you, but good luck.”Jax replied, rolling his eyes a bit before looking over at Tanya, who was standing there, hands placed behind her back.  
“What information...I love my wife, and I just want her home safe and sound, so if you know anything, you better talk before I call the cops.”The man snapped on the other end.  
“She isn't here...she isn't in Charming, and if she is, she's staying clear of us, so I can't tell you something I don't know, so calling the cops isn't going to do you any good here.”Jax continued, shaking his head, not liking how this guy was speaking to him,”And never mind on the information, just, you've looked in the wrong place, I'm sorry.”  
“Alright well, just let me know if you hear anything.”The man spoke, and then gave his phone number, which Jax pretended to write down.  
Jax hung the phone up, and then stood there for a moment. He had figured Tanya's husband would come looking for her, and most of the club was still in the dark. He knew this man was dangerous, and he was dangerous in more then just being an abusive husband. Jax looked over at Tanya after a moment, and she looked both relieved and terrified all in one. He had to figure out what to do, or this could unravel, and she would probably end up dead. He rubbed his face, and took a deep breath, before walking over and embracing Tanya in a hug.  
“He wont touch you.”He assured her,”We're going to have to tell everyone what's going on however, otherwise we can't protect you.”  
“Jax, I don't know that I want everyone knowing, because I don't need people feeling sorry for me.”She said as she pulled away from him, shoving her hands in her pockets,”I don't want pity, I just want to be able to move on with my life.”  
“Everybody here has seen a lot of shit, they aren't going to pity you, they're going to be angry for you, because we're strong on the fact that you don't lay a hand on women, for any reason.”He said as he raised an eyebrow,”And if they don't know, how are they suppose to be able to keep you safe until this guy is taken care of?”  
“I guess...I just...I just want this to be done, part of me wishes that he was dead, because I'll always be afraid so long as he's breathing.”She said with a small laugh,”I never thought I'd feel that way about another human, I try to like everyone.”  
“We'll take care of him, I promise.”Jax said before stepping out of the office, half turning as he did,”We'll sit everyone down and talk about it in the clubhouse tonight, alright.”  
“Alright.”She replied lightly, before walking over to the chair in front of the computer and sinking down, dread filling her as she tried to figure out what the man would do next, how far he'd go to find her. That was terrifying, and she wasn't so sure they could protect her, because her husband knew far to many powerful people to just let her escape.  
Jax left her alone, and she was okay with that. She had to figure out how she was suppose to just explain to everyone what had happened. She didn't want to be looked at with pity, or to hear people tell her how sorry they were for what happened. She would never be able to move on with her life if people always looked at her as the formerly abused house wife. She sighed a bit and went back to typing. Now wasn't the time for that, she knew Jax was right, they couldn't help if she wasn't honest.  
The rest of the day went without event, even Tig didn't come pester her about what she and Jax spoke of, or who was on the phone. She finished what she was doing for the day, and shut off the computer once she made sure everything was saved. She got up and grabbed her purse and headed for the door, locking the office up behind her. The men were locking up the garage, and she watched them for a moment, before heading towards her car. She wanted to go home and eat, at least before she had to tell her pathetic story to all these burly men.  
“Where you headed?”Jax called out, causing Tanya to take pause, turning to look at him.  
“I'm going to go home real quick, eat, and then I'm coming back.”She said, raising an eyebrow,”Why?”  
“Why not just get this over with, alright.”Jax answered, taking a deep breath,”Then you can just go home and stay for the night.”  
“Alright, if you think it's the best way to do this.”Tanya spoke, after tossing the thoughts around in her mind a moment,”Let's just get it over with.”  
She quietly followed after Jax into the clubhouse, noticing that everyone was coming in, and they were all grabbing beers, talking, laughing, as if this was another normal night after work. She paused for a moment, and had it in mind to turn and dart out of here. She knew that she didn't get that option though, not now. She'd already asked for help, almost begged, and now she had to do what needed to be done. Come clean.  
“Guys, I need to talk to you all about something,”Jax called to them, causing everyone to pause, and turn their attention towards the President,”Our new resident needs to come clean about something.”  
“I knew she couldn't be utterly perfect like Gemma claims.”Tig said lightly, giving a bit of a laugh as he took another drink of his beer.  
“Actually, this is a matter of you guys being safe,”Tanya retorted, glaring at Tig,”And I'd be the first to tell you I'm not perfect, if you'd take the time to do something other then get in my pants.”  
“Alright you two.”Jax interrupted, clearing his throat a bit before looking to Tanya, waiting for her to start talking.  
“I'm originally from around here, I grew up on the Reservation where you guys make deals from time to time, my father's the chief.”She started to explain,”I uh...I really never wanted to come back here, and I pretty much hated everything about the Reservation, and Charming, and just, this whole area in general, so I met this man not long after I got out of high school, and I fell head over heels for him, married him, and had a nice little life far away from here, in a home we owned, with a white picket fence and a cat named Chunks, however this isn't what I'm trying to explain, see, my fairy tale was a ten year nightmare, full of physical and verbal abuse, I've spent the last ten years moving from hospital to hospital fabricating stories as to what happened to me, why my ribs are broken, why my face is bruised up, why my wrist is dislocated, I wasn't allowed to work, have friends, talk to my family, and I was in fear for my life, because he's a man with all the right friends, and I called Gemma to beg for help, after ten years, I just couldn't do it anymore, I had always liked her, and I knew that if I went to my father first, he'd send me your way anyway, and I didn't want the tribe getting caught up in this madman's game, I knew you all could handle it, except today, he called here, looking for me, I managed to lie it off like I wasn't here, with the help of Jax, and now I'm afraid, because he'll be on a rampage, and if he finds me, or finds out that he was lied to about me being here, well, to put it kindly, I'm not going to be the only person that ends up dead, and I don't want that...I just want to have this man out of my life so I can move on, so that I can be something better then the beaten housewife in the news found dead in her kitchen or something.”She finally finished explaining, taking a deep breath, as she looked around.  
The entire room got quiet, but there was an energy there, and it made Tanya a bit nervous. She hoped that they wouldn't turn her away for not telling them the whole truth from the start, she desperately wanted their help, and desperately wanted to stay alive. Tig set his beer down and watched her for a moment, before shaking his head.  
“No man worth his money hits a woman,”He spoke, a hiss in his voice,”What do you need us to do?”  
“I just need help staying alive, nothing more, if you can help me be done with this man, I'll go, and not cause any more trouble for any of you.”She answered, as she looked down at the ground, and away from all the eyes on her.  
“I've got your back,”Tig spoke, with a nod of his head.  
“Me and Gemma already said we'd help her.”Jax said with a sigh,”You're not expected to do anything, we just wanted you to be aware of the situation.”  
“Jackie-boy, we're all gonna help da' girl,”Chibs spoke, and all the men nodded in agreement,”da' bastard is dead.”


	6. The World Is Ugly

The weeks following Tanya explaining her situation to everyone went smoothly. She'd been in hiding for nearly six months at this point, and was happy that Joe hadn't found her, hadn't even tried. She was still alert, always cautious, never wanting to get caught off guard by the man, or anyone he might know. She was grateful that people didn't feel sorry for her, or try to treat her like she was something special, or fragile. She leaned against the door way to the office of the garage, watching as the line of bikes pulled in, all taking their spots. The roaring sounds of the engines stopping, making the world around them deadly silent for a moment in time.  
She and Tig were still back and forth, and she was still not quite sure what to do with the man. He wasn't a puppy dog, he wasn't sweet, and cuddly, and the type to pamper. She wasn't the type of woman to truly enjoy that either. He was cold as stone most of the time, and his eyes gave way to the demons he kept locked in his head. She tip toed around him most of the time, careful that she wasn't coming off as interested, but also careful to make it seem as if he should turn his attention else where. She had got to where she was finally becoming the person she had been before Joe. Vibrant, out spoken, stubborn, finally working on the woman that she wanted to be. She still had moments where she was terrified, where she hid back in her shell away from the world, afraid of the next blow that might come, but she was working on it. Every day was a step forward.  
“Tanya.”Jax called out, pulling the woman from her thoughts,”Come here for a second, would ya?”  
“What's going on?”Tanya asked, as she made her way over to Jax, and standing with him was Tig, Chibs, and Opie.  
“I need you to let one of us sleep on your couch for a few days, we can take shifts, whatever is best.”He started, which caused Tanya to suspiciously search his face for answers as to why.  
“Uh...why does anyone need to sleep on my couch?”  
“You want the truth, or a shallow story that will make you feel better?”Jax asked, crossing his arms over his chest.  
“Well, truth would be nice, I'm not overly fond of being lied to.”She said, glancing between him and Tig, and occasionally Chibs, wondering what was going on here.  
“Joe's in town, apparently the search and rescue failed where you were living, everyone has given up, and he's here, looking for answers.”  
“How do you know?”She asked, raising an eyebrow,”Why hasn't he come around here?”  
“A friend told me that a man was looking at the car you'd drove here, at the car lot where you traded it, was asking questions about you, however, nothing has led back here.”He explained casually,”However it's only a matter of time, which means you need someone at your apartment watching your back.”  
“Well, alright.”She said, giving a small sigh, having been honestly hoping that Joe had just given up and left her alone,”However, no strange women, that's my only rule, I don't need that stinking up my house.”  
“Fair enough.”Jax said with a laugh, before patting Tig on the arm,”He's staying tonight, so just whenever you're ready to leave, let him know, alright.”  
“Why?”  
“Why what?”  
“Why does it have to be Tig...Juice is much nicer, or hell, Happy at times is far friendlier.”  
“Because he volunteered,”  
“Is that going to be a problem, Tanya?”Tig asked, as he watched for her reaction, his mind wandering back to the fact that she was so wonderfully submissive, and how he really still wanted a piece of her, only because it would be something like climbing Mount Everest, only the bravest venture into that mess.  
“No, it's not a problem.”She finally answered, sighing slightly, giving a shrug of her shoulders,”I was just finishing up for the day, so don't wander off on me, I don't want to get a leash or something.”  
“Well, you two have fun.”Jax said, laughing a bit, shaking his head as he walked off.  
“Tig, ya watch da' girl, alright, call us if ya need anythin'.”Chibs spoke, his voice stern, as he turned and followed after Jax.  
“It's almost like your a small child,”Tanya teased lightly, as she turned on her heel and took off for the office to grab her things.  
“No, I'm just not overly well known for not following directions,”Tig called out after her, rolling his eyes at the woman.  
It's not that she has actually changed in the last six months, it was more like her true self was starting to show through. Tig had noticed it, little by little, she stopped being so afraid. From time to time, something would happen, and she'd crawl right back into that darkness, where everyone is out to get her, but then she'd give it a day or two, and be alright again. She was stubborn, and that fire that he had mentioned to her a few months back at the diner, he got a taste of it more and more each day. She was a fighter, and she was vicious at times, but she had done a pretty good job at keeping up with him at the few parties she had attended. Sadly, she'd kept up so well that she hadn't been dumb enough to get into bed with him.  
“You ready?”Tanya asked, pulling Tig from his thoughts as she walked past him and towards her car,”I'm hungry, and I'm willing to guess you are too.”  
“Yeah, I'm followin' ya.”He said, shaking his head with a small huff, turning and walking towards his bike.  
A rather short ride through the small town of Charming, and she was parking in front of her apartment. Tanya climbed out and looked around, her bright eyes taking in everything. She did this nearly every time she came home, just to be sure that she was still safe. She knew that she was, every time, but she couldn't help herself. Giving a small glance over her shoulder, she looked at Tig was climbing off his bike, and with several effortless strides, was near her, waiting for her to take the lead inside.  
“You really think Joe's found me?”She asked, trying to make it sound casual instead of allowing herself to sound as worried as she really was.  
“Don't know yet, we'll have to wait and see, I guess.”Tig answered, keeping his response short, since he didn't have anything more to say about it.  
“What's there to wait for, him showing up at the apartment and putting a bullet in my head, cause I'm willing to be that's what he'll do.”She muttered, rolling her eyes lightly, as she unlocked the door, then stepped into the apartment, taking a deep breath and darting towards the kitchen.  
“You're the most pessimistic person I've ever seen, even Gemma has more hope then you do.”Tig muttered back, as he shut the door behind him, watching as the woman slipped off towards kitchen.  
“Well, the man I married knocked me around for ten years, and I finally make a grand escape, only to have Jax tell me that he thinks Joe's in town, because someone has been asking questions about me, now you tell me where the silver lining is in that information?”She replied to his comment, turning her full attention on Tig, a small scowl on her face at his silence,”I'm waiting.”  
“Look, I don't have a silver lining for you, doll, I don't think like that anyway.”Tig retorted, snorting at her, as he shook his head,”And you're right, pretty shitty news today, but it's not like you're alone or anything, I mean c'mon, the whole club is taking up for you, that's gotta count for something.”  
“You're right, it does, however, I know what Joe's capable of, and I still worry.”She said simply, looking down with a small sigh,”Sorry I snapped at you.”  
“You're conflicted.”  
“Yes, I know, now, what would you like for dinner?”  
Tig just stared at her, before giving a shake of his head. This woman was going to be the death of him. She was confusing, and frustrating, and he wanted to tie a rope around her neck some days. He started to open his mouth to answer her when a knock at the door shook him from his thoughts. He turned and moved back over to the door, glad that conversation was over, before he snapped and lost it. Tig tried to glance out the window to see who was there, but couldn't get a good look, so he reached around to where his gun sat in the waist of his jeans, just under his cut, as he pulled the door open. He found himself face to face with a man that didn't look in the least bit pleased to see him there.  
“Where is she?”The man asked.  
“I don't know what you're talking about, this is my house.”Tig lied, playing off a look of confusion,”You got somethin' wrong with your head?”  
“Look, dipshit, I saw my wife come in here with you, now where is she?”  
“I don't let another man's wife around me, it tends to end badly.”Tig mocked lightly,”Try again?”  
“Where's Tanya.”  
“That name sounds oddly familiar, but sorry, I can't help you.”  
“Tanya, I know you're in there, just please stop hiding, and come out here, I forgive you for running off, please, I just want you to come home.”He spoke, sounding sincere as he did so.  
“Buddy, I expect you to get off my steps before I knock your head clean off.”Tig hissed, narrowing his eyes,”You don't fool me,”  
“So she is in there, I want my wife back.”  
Tanya had ducked behind the counter, and closed her eyes the moment she heard the voice. She listened as Tig attempted to play it off that she wasn't even there, then proceeded to threaten Joe. She swallowed hard, and took several deep breaths, tears stinging her eyes as she tried to make herself stand up. She was terrified, and she didn't want Joe taking her back home, beating her, she couldn't do it again, not for another ten years, not for another ten minutes. She wanted to be able to fall in love, and be happy, and not be afraid of the man in her bed. She wanted to have children, and have someone that could keep up with her, not put her down. She wanted to be free of the tyranny that was the man at the door. She glanced up after a moment, to see that Tig wasn't moving, and wasn't about to do so any time soon either. That was at least a bit of relief. She let herself calm down a bit, and slowly pulled herself to her feet.  
“Please, let me talk to my wife, I don't want to make an issue out of this, but I'm not leaving either.”  
“Well, if you don't want an issue, then turn around and leave, cause there ain't no use for you around here.”Tig growled, quickly losing his patience with the man.  
“She's been missing for six months, and when I called around town before, no one had seen her, and I'd like to know why everyone lied, she's my wife, I have a right to know she's alive, since she just up and left without saying a word to me.”Joe snapped, starting to sound irritated himself,”What makes you think you can keep me from her?”  
“Tig, move and let him in.”Tanya finally spoke, trying to keep her voice from sounding shaky,”Just, let him in before people start staring and causing more problems.”  
“Ya sure, cause I could just kick him down the stairs or something?”Tig asked, looking a bit surprised at what she had said.  
“Yes, I'm sure, we can handle this inside.”She said simply, though she hadn't moved from where she was standing, safely behind the counter.  
Tig slowly moved out of the way, letting the man inside, though his eyes were narrow and his body tense and ready to pounce. He didn't like this in the least. He shut the door, and then moved, keeping himself some what in between the man, and Tanya.  
“Tanya, what's going on, why haven't you said anything?”Joe spoke after the door was shut, occasionally glancing towards Tig.  
“Because I have the right to do as I please, I'm an adult.”She said simply, placing both hands on the counter,”And because as far as I'm concerned, I'm not your wife anymore, I'm filing for divorce.tru “After ten years, that's all you have to say to me?”Joe said, looking almost disgusted by her words,”Ten years of doing everything for you?”  
“Look, I'm not discussing this, in fact, this isn't going to be a debate, nor is there a vote, I will not go back, I'm home, and this is where I'm staying.”Tanya spoke, trying to sound as confident as she could,”Ten years was too long, you did nothing for me, and I'm not going back to be a punching bag.”  
“Is that what you've got them convinced of, that I beat you?”Joe asked, looking shocked, and Tig was almost convinced as he watched the man,”Why would you those things?”  
“I'm not convincing anyone of anything.”Tanya replied, looking shocked at how he was playing this off, and she was sure that Tig would believe him, and then she'd just be sent home, as if this were all some sort of game,”Joe, I don't love you, I stopped loving you the first time you hit me, and I wont go back to that hell.”  
“Look, I don't know what you think you're doing, but this isn't funny.”Joe said, sounding sad as he spoke,”I know that you were really struggling before you left, but I think it might be a good idea to hospitalize you this time, clearly the medication isn't doing it's job anymore, convincing yourself and everyone else that I would actually beat you.”  
“Medication?”Tig asked, raising an eyebrow as he looked over at Tanya, who was standing perfectly still, looking stunned, and then turning his attention back towards Joe,”What medication?”  
“She saw a doctor a couple of years ago that diagnosed her schizophrenia, mild, but there none the less, as well as a couple of other things, this isn't the first time she's ran off, and I've tried monitoring her medication, because she does have hallucinations otherwise, and comes up with this off the wall stories like this.”Joe explained, meeting Tig's gaze, as he spoke.  
“You're kidding me.”Tig grumbled, before looking at Tanya, who was standing like a frightened deer, tears leaking down her cheek,”Is he serious, are you mental?”  
“No, I'm not.”She said, shaking her head, her voice cracking as she spoke,”No, I don't need medication, he's lying, please believe me, he's done this before.”  
“Done what before?”Joe asked, shaking his head in disbelief,”Put you in the hospital, Tanya, I'm only trying to take care of you., you keep running off like this, you're going to get hurt.”  
“No, no, stop it.”Tanya said, waving her head, as she took a deep breath,”I am not crazy, and I am not making these things up...Joe, you need to go, I want you out of my life, I want you go I don't want anything else to do with you, you're manipulative and you hurt me, and just go.”  
“Tanya, you're coming home, you need help.”Joe spoke, his tone a little more forceful this time,”You don't need to be pretending something isn't wrong, when we both know you're not all there, and haven't been for a long time.”  
“Please...”Tanya whimpered, looking towards Tig, her eyes pleading for him to jump in and help her.  
“Listen, you can't make her do anything.”Tig spoke, shaking his head,”You need to leave, this is her house, and she doesn't want you here.”  
“She's coming, and she's getting the help she needs, I'll call the police, file kidnapping charges if I have to, but she isn't going to stay here and ruin herself.”  
“Ruin herself, and how would she do that?”  
“She's mentally unstable, hanging around with biker trash, you do the math.”  
“Joe,”Tanya said, her eyes going wide,”No, you wont talk about anyone like that in my house.”  
“This ain't your house, you don't live here anymore, you're coming home, we'll come back in a couple days to get your stuff.”  
After he spoke, he moved past Tig, and up to Tanya, taking hold of her arm. She flinched and tried to move away from him, but it was little use, as she was tugged towards the door. She glanced up at Tig, who was looking between the husband and wife, trying to figure out the best way to pry them apart without hurting Tanya. She looked terrified, and he knew in the back of his head that this guy was making this shit up. He just didn't know how to go about stopping the man without hurting Tanya. He let Tanya be pulled out the door before pulling his phone out and calling Jax, explaining what was happening, and that they were going to be heading out of town. He gave a description of the car, and told Jax he was going to follow, to which Jax explained they'd meet on the edge of town and get her back.  
Tanya looked up to see Tig just standing there, and she bit her lip. He believed Joe. She shook her head and sniffled as she was pushed into the car, the door slamming shut. She watched as the man she'd tried so hard to run from walked around and got in on the drivers side. She tried to move herself as far away from him as possible. She knew that if he got her out of town, she would probably end up in the hospital, no doubt, but it wasn't because she was mental, it was because he was going to try and break her for this. She couldn't help but feel a small sting at the fact that Tig had so easily turned on her, especially since he'd been the first to speak up when the whole club found out why she was there. She tried not to dwell on it, as she had a plan once they got back, to escape this whole mess without being hurt again, without being betrayed again. She wondered idly, if any of the others knew, or if they would have done the same thing. It didn't matter, the game was over, and she'd lost.  
“You really should have learned the first time that you couldn't get far.”Joe snapped as he pulled out and headed down the road.  
“Just leave me alone, you won, what does it matter.”  
“Oh don't worry, I'm going to be leaving you alone a lot, cause I know what sorta people you've made your company these last months, and I'm sure that trash had his fill of you, and believe me, I don't have any interest in a used up thing like you.”  
“You think I had sex with him?”  
“You think I'm stupid enough to think otherwise?”  
“I'm a little shocked, I didn't realize that I came off as a whore.”  
“You are, I've always known it, that's why I married you, you're tight and easy, and it just made sense.”  
Tanya swallowed his words like they were vinegar, shaking her head as she continued to look out the window. She knew that she had to go through with her next plan, otherwise her life would be twice the hell it had been before. She reached up and wiped the tears off her cheek and bit her lip. She might have done a lot of things to get away from him, but she had never cheated, that had never been her style. She couldn't say it was a bad thing that he thought she cheated, it meant that he wouldn't corner her into sleeping with him anymore, it meant no more pretending she was enjoying herself just for the sake of not being hit again. She kept herself quiet, not paying attention to anything around her. She just wanted to be done with all this, and she would be, soon enough. She would do what she had to in order to get away from this man, even if it meant doing the unthinkable and taking her own life. It seemed like the only out she was going to get however, if people could be so easily swayed to believe he was nothing more then a worried husband looking for his lost crazy wife.


	7. You don't want to hurt me, or see how deep the bullet lies

Tanya tried to make herself seem as calm as possible. She was furious at Tig, at the fact that he'd given in so easily to Joe. She was appalled and saddened by the fact that Tig believed this evil man. She shrugged it off. She couldn't take those things back, so she would just have to do what was needed when she had a moment alone. That could be awhile, she was aware, because Joe would be forever on edge that she would attempt this again. She glanced over at the man that had, in the most basic term, destroyed her life. She frowned a bit and looked out the windshield, letting face once more become neutral. She couldn't let him see how much this had got to her. That would be letting him win.  
“Seriously, you thought that would work?”Joe finally asked after several long minutes of silence.  
“Does it matter now, it didn't.”She replied, as she looked down at her hands.  
“You're mine, and if you think that's going to change because of some white trash bikers, you're as stupid as you were the day I met you.”Joe said, with a snort.  
“I am not stupid, seriously, I don't understand you sometimes.”Tanya hissed, rolling her eyes,”If I'm so worthless, why waste ten years of your life on me, since clearly in your head you could do better.”  
“I could never do better then you Tanya.”Joe muttered, sounding almost affectionate as he spoke,”You are the love of my life, and I simply want to protect you from all the dirty things in this world.”  
“I, oh wow.”Tanya said, and shook her head, looking out the passenger window,”The only thing you should protect me from is your temper.”  
“I never meant to hurt you, I wish I could take all of it back, but I can't.”Joe spoke, his voice soft as he glanced towards Tanya,”But almost losing you, not knowing if you were alive or dead, it's made me rethink everything, and I want to show you that I can love you endlessly.”   
“Joe, that's not possible,”Tanya said with a laugh,”We can't just start over after ten years of this.”  
“We can, we're both still young, we could, I want to, I want to show you that I love you.”Joe pleaded, a small sad looking frown on his face.  
“No, Joe,”She said, shaking her head, tears filling her eyes,”I don't want that, I want this marriage to be over, I don't love you anymore.”  
“Why?”Joe asked, narrowing his eyes,”Because of that thing in your house, what could he give you that I can't?”  
“Nothing, who says I even want him, I don't want anyone, I want to be free, I want to be alone.”Tanya answered, sighing,”I want to just be alone, for a very long time.”  
“I'm your husband, you can't even give me the respect of trying?”Joe responded, sounding irritated,”I've given you the best home, you always get the things that you want, that you need, you never go without, so we've had a few downs in the last years, that can't be fixed?”  
Tanya opened her mouth to give him an ear full of the down side of the last few years when a loud roar of engines caught her attention. There were bikes lined across the road at the city limits of Charming. All the men had their guns up and ready, aiming right at the vehicle that Joe was driving. Her eyes went wide, and her breath caught in her throat. Tig hadn't believed Joe at all, he was just playing along. Her heart skipped a beat, and she had to shrug it off as the SUV came to an abrupt halt, causing Tanya to fall forward into the dashboard, her hands coming out to catch herself. Joe didn't look overly pleased, but that wasn't going to damper Tanya's mood right in this moment. She quickly unbuckled herself, and was moving towards the door, wanting to jump out of this thing and just run towards that line of bikes. She had the door half way open and was nearly out when Joe reached over and grabbed a hand full of her hair, yanking her back, causing a small whimper to slip from her lips. He wasn't going to make this easy at all. Her heart was racing, with both fear and anticipation. She had to get away from him, otherwise Jax and the others couldn't do what needed to be done. She wasn't sure how she was going to do that right now though, she was caught, Joe still yanking her back, wanting her inside the vehicle where he could do whatever he had to.  
“Did you know about this?”Joe asked, glaring at Tanya as he finally let go of her hair.  
“No.”She replied, keeping her answer simple, as she pulled away from him, hand still on the door of the vehicle, glaring right back at him.  
“I will run them down if I had to.”  
“I think the guns might stop you.”She muttered, grinning,”You can't win this time.”  
“It's not about winning,”Joe snapped, snarling his lip,”It's about taking my wife home, where she belongs.”  
“I don't belong anywhere or to anyone.”Tanya cried out, her eyes wide as she started to move towards the door again,”That's what you can't understand, I am not property, and if I choose, I can walk away from this marriage, from you, from everything, my life is not for you to control.”  
She made her move, while he was distracted, though she did feel a little guilty at the look on his face. He seemed genuinely hurt, and she couldn't understand it. Ten years of knocking her around, controlling who she spoke to, where she went, what she watched on television and the music she was allowed to enjoy, the clothing she was allowed to wear, and now, he is acting as if it was all out of love. She shook the thoughts away, she couldn't believe for a minute that he cared, that he wanted to start over. The venom of doubt could not leak into her veins and make her stop running. She would then be dead. She managed to get out of the SUV, stumbling back a bit, and nearly falling, before turning, looking towards the group standing there, blocking the way out of Charming. She took a deep breath and started walking, ignoring the sound of the car door shutting behind her, signaling that Joe was now in pursuit. She took a deep breath, and looked to the ground, before back up at the men standing there, guns all aimed in what most would think of, as her. She knew better, they were aimed at the man following her.   
“Tanya, stop.”Joe called, his voice almost pleading with her,”I love you, I just want you to come home.”  
“Leave 'er be, or yer dead.”Chibs called, answering for Tanya, snarling his lip,”Ya can't take 'er home, she ain't yers no more.”  
A loud bike coming from behind made Tanya pause. She knew who it was without even looking. She had to look though, she couldn't help it. She had thought he was just going to let Joe take her back, that he had believed what the man had sold him. Instead, he had simply played along, and managed to come up with a back up plan. She turned and watched as Tig parked his bike, and climbed off, tossing his helmet down on the seat. She could see his fingers flicking, as his hand moved towards the knife that rested on his hip. She swallowed hard, and shook her head. Tig was going to kill him. She bit her lip and took a deep breath. She wanted to watch, but part of her wanted to just start running, get as far away from that as possible. If she wasn't a witness to the murder, then she couldn't be pressured into talking if the cops found out.   
“Tig, don't.”Jax called out, causing the man to take pause,”Not here, man.”  
“Not here what?”Joe asked, turning on his heel as he came face to face with Tig,”You again, you don't get it do you,”  
“No, I understand perfectly.”Tig replied, staring down at the man with his bright blue eyes,”I understand that you have broken something that was otherwise perfect, and now you wish to hide this broken thing away in case someone finds out your a little less than innocent.”  
“I've done nothing wrong.”Joe snapped, snarling his lip,”You and your butt buddies need to back off, and let me take my wife home.”   
Tanya frowned as she watched Tig and Joe. Joe was several inches shorter then Tig, and not nearly as terrifying. She blinked as she felt a hand on her shoulder, glancing up to see that it was Opie, letting her know that she was now safe. She moved just slightly behind them, just in case they decided to do something, that would keep her from being trampled. She then looked down at the ground. She wanted this to be over. She didn't care at this point if it meant killing Joe. She just wanted to know that he wouldn't be popping back into her life to attempt and convince everyone that they were perfectly happy before. She knew the truth, the scars hidden under her clothing told a different story. She shook the thoughts away and looked up. Joe had took several steps back, trying to put some distance between himself and Tig. Probably the smartest thing he'd done since arriving in Charming.  
“Listen, Joe.”Tig hissed,”You've got two options here, so listen well.”  
“Yeah, and what's that?”Joe snapped back, narrowing his eyes.  
“You either leave Charming, you get in that SUV, and you drive, and go as far as you damn well are able, and don't turn your ass around for anything.”Tig growled,”Or I'm going to tear you apart, and I'm going to start by cutting off your dick and shoving it up your ass.”  
“I'm not leaving without Tanya.”Joe said, holding his head up high,”I love her, and I want to make things right, I'm aware that I haven't been perfect, that I've messed up, and I want to fix it.”  
“She made her choice, she's not going back with you, and if you try and force her, I'll make you wish your mother had swallowed.”Tig spoke, his voice suddenly quite calm as he watched Joe,”She ain't yours no more.”  
“You think you've got a say in what happens to her?”Joe asked, smirking,”She'll just push you down too, push you to your limits, and then some, and then, when it suits her, she'll run, and tell everyone what a horrible man you were in return.”  
“The difference between you and me pal,”Tig replied, smirking right back,”Is that when I get pushed to my limits, I don't leave evidence behind, and you're about to push to far.”  
Joe frowned and shook his head. He took a deep breath, his hands clenching into fists as he watched the other before him. He was going to do something stupid if he didn't calm down, but this man was infuriating. Joe reached up, and before he could think about it, he brought his fist into contact with Tig's face, watching as the other stumbled back in surprise. Joe grinned, but that instantly turned into a scowl and a small grunt as Tig regained himself and with open arms, tackled Joe to the ground. Tanya watched, her eyes wide, her face a little pale, as the two men started to literally beat the living hell out of each other. Joe managed to land another punch to Tig's face, in which the other responded by spitting blood in Joe's face. Jax, Chibs, and Happy were all moving forward to separate them as quickly as possible before this got to far out of hand.  
“Stop.”Jax yelled, grabbing Tig under his arms, and yanking the best he could, the man being nearly a dead weight.  
Chibs got in between the two men, as Tig was finally pulled away, and as Joe went to get up and move towards Tig, ready to keep this fight going, Happy grabbed a hold of him, and yanked him back, nearly pulling him off his feet. The three men held on to the two, until there was nothing but ragged breaths and snarls of lips. Jax glanced towards Chibs, and then over to where Opie stood, Tanya standing right behind him. They needed to do something with this man before Tig ended up in prison.   
“Joe, you were given your choices.”Jax finally spoke after several moments of silence,”Get out of town, and sign the divorce papers when they're sent your way, or you will end up dead.”  
“None of you white trash pieces of shit can tell me what to do.”Joe snapped back,”I'm not leaving without my wife, and if you kill me, well, you'll have bigger problems on your hands.”  
“Trust me, your threats aren't that scary.”  
“They will be when my boss comes looking for me.”  
“Then let him come, like I said, we're not scared of petty threats.”  
Joe yanked himself from Happys grip, and shook his head. He glanced towards Tanya, who was just watching, lips parted as if she wanted to say something, anything, that would end this for good. He then looked back towards Jax, and Tig, shrugging just slightly. He wasn't leaving without Tanya. He looked down at the ground, the whole group silent as they waited, wondering what would happen next.  
“I guess I end up dead.”Joe finally spoke,”Because I'm not going anywhere.”  
Tanya swallowed hard as she watched Happy grab Joe once more, yanking him nearly to his knees, and practically dragging him back towards the SUV. She wanted to scream, to make this not happen. She wanted Joe out of her life, at first, she thought him being dead was the best option, the only option. Now, as the thought of him actually dying, actually being killed, was being thrown in her face so quickly, she started to doubt her thoughts before. She wasn't even sure this was worth it. She didn't think it was worth the risk of one of them, or nearly all of them, ending up in prison. She bit her lip and shook her head, taking a step backwards. Were they going to do it here?   
“Listen, we're taking Tanya back to the garage.”Jax spoke, as he watched Happy shove Joe against the SUV,”You've got an hour, you still think this is what you want, you think this is the smart decision, come there, if not, well I guess this is goodbye.”  
Tanya let out a breath she didn't know she'd been holding. They weren't going to do it here. She blinked and looked down at her hands, they were shaking like leaves in a hurricane. She wasn't sure she ever wanted to witness someone dying. She heard someone calling her name, and glanced up to see that it was Tig, motioning for her towards his bike. She almost shook her head, then glanced around at the others, getting on their bikes, helmets on, taking off towards the garage and clubhouse. She finally rolled her eyes a bit and started towards Tig, glancing every so often towards Joe, who hadn't moved. When she got to Tig, she frowned, and without thinking much of it, reached over to check the cuts and bruises on his face where he'd been hit during the fight.  
“It's nothing, I'm fine.”Tig told her, before she could even let the question slip her lips,”Hop on, so we can get outta here.”  
Tanya just sighed, and climbed on, wrapping her arms around his torso. She closed her eyes as the bike started and they took off down the road. It didn't take long until they were back at Teller-Morrow Automotive Repair, and when the bike was shut off, she climbed off, looking around for a moment, and then over to Tig. He had been furious back there, and it was terrifying. She scrunched her nose a bit and shrugged it off, wondering what she was suppose to do for an hour other then roll around the idea of watching Joe get shot to death in her head. Tig stepped up behind her, reaching up and touching her shoulder just lightly, causing Tanya to jump in response, as she glanced up at him. He gave her a crooked smile, dried blood causing it to look almost menacing, when any other time, she'd be waiting for him to attempt to ask her out for dinner, or ask if he could come home with her. Not this time though.  
“Are you sure you're okay?”She asked, after the silence became to much for her.  
“Yeah,”He confirmed, giving her shoulder a light squeeze, before taking off towards the clubhouse.  
Tanya stood there for a moment, just watching as Tig disappeared inside. She then glanced up at the sky, dark clouds rolling in and threatening the area with rain. She smiled a bit, rain sounded nice. She might just dance in it this time. She then thought for a moment about what these big bad bikers would think about her just dancing around the parking lot like a mad woman. The idea of what their faces would look like made her snort a bit out loud, as she started towards the clubhouse. Once inside, she sat down by herself, watching as everyone talked and went on like nothing had happened. It was so strange how they could do that, and Tanya secretly wished she had the same ability to just shove things aside for a moment. She didn't though, and that was nearly as annoying as the idea of being able to.  
The hour seemed to drag on forever, and she wasn't sure it would ever end. Finally, as she looked up at the clock, the time had come. In just a few minutes or so, either Joe would arrive, or he wouldn't. Tanya had a feeling though, that he would, if only out of spite, or determination, she wasn't sure which. She had no clue what he was talking about with his boss, she knew he had a lot of powerful connections, but when you run a construction company, that tends to happen. She bit her lip, and prayed that he just left, that he didn't come to die, raining some seventh level of hell down on this little town because of the people he knew. A honking of a horn however, told Tanya everything she needed to know. He wasn't going to just leave, and that meant that he died, and then, who knew what would happen next, because his threat might have real truth behind it, though Tanya wasn't sure. She slowly stood, and watched as the others did as well, all heading for the door, all seeming to hope it was Gemma or Tara, and not the person they expected it to be. There was no such luck however, as everyone spilled out, Joe climbed out of the SUV, looking determined as he walked towards them. Tanya frowned at the man and shook her head, stupid boy. In the end, that's all he was, a boy in a man's body, constantly needing control and power to feel like he was worth something. She watched as one of the men, she didn't know his name, walked over, and pulled the gates closed, making it so the outside world couldn't see what was about to happen.  
Tanya couldn't explain what happened next. She wanted to put it all together, but it just wasn't happening. She watched as Happy stepped forward with a gun in his hands. There was a silencer on the end, and as Joe stood there, Happy lifted the gun, waiting for a moment, to see if the man would change his mind, or if he was going to put up a fight. Joe didn't move.  
“You really want to die over this?”Jax finally asked, glancing towards Happy who was more then eager to pull the trigger.  
“Yes, now get it over with, if you're serious.”  
Happy didn't hesitate. He pulled the trigger, once, twice, three times, then a fourth, just to be sure. Two in Joe's head, and the other two in his chest. He almost instantly slumped to the ground, his body still, blood pooling around him. Tanya just stared at the bloody body. She stared at the holes in his head, the way his eyes stared up at the sky. She suddenly felt dizzy, her vision getting a little blurry, her breathing labored as she just sat on the ground, staring. She thought she was going to pass out. The air around them was silent, as thunder cracked across the sky, lightning making the whole world seem bright for a moment, making the pale dead body seem as if it might move at any moment. Then the rain came. It started as a few sprinkles, and then suddenly, it was everywhere, soaking everything in its path. Everyone was moving to cover and move the body, needing to dump it quickly before anyone showed up and the whole thing went to hell in a hand basket. Tanya didn't move. She couldn't. She had never seen anyone die before, and never in such a gruesome manner. She was in shock, she was aware of this, and yet, her body would not allow her to make a move to correct it. She simply remained, still, on the concrete, somewhere between this world and the world of darkness that threatened to over take her.


	8. We must be killers, children of the wild ones

Dead. He was dead, and she was having a lot of trouble with herself at this point. It was this internal struggle, one that twisted her insides, left her feeling as though she might actually throw up. She didn't however, and she wasn't exactly sure how she managed to keep herself from doing so. There was relief, he was dead which meant that he couldn't touch her again. It meant that he couldn't ever hit her, he couldn't throw her around, he couldn't belittle her, all of those things were over. Then there was the guilt. The intense amount of guilt that came with the relief. He was dead, and it was because of her. But if not her, then who? And when? What other poor soul would have been caught in his trap?   
Blinking, she shuddered, sucking in a sharp breath, and letting it out slowly, feeling two hands coming to rest on both of her shoulders. She tilted her head up to look at who had grabbed her, and while it should have been a surprise, it wasn't. Tig was standing there again, and he was looking at her, not the body that had been covered up, that one of the prospects, along with Opie, Chibs, and Happy, were moving. She gave a very small nod of her head, feeling the pressure on her shoulders increase as he started to move her, to guide her inside. At first, she went, she moved as he wished for her to, but the rain pouring down caught her attention, and she looked out at it, seeing how it washed the blood away, seeing how it left no trace of Joe behind. There was something cleansing about the rain choosing to pour from the sky the moment that it did. Pulling her bottom lip in between her teeth, she chewed on it for a moment, then pulled away from Tig, moving away from him completely, and started out onto the lot. Maybe she wouldn't dance, but she wanted to feel the cold water hitting her, wanted to have the same feeling of being cleansed that the parking lot had gotten.  
“Tanya.”Tig called for her, and she could hear him moving behind her, that however, did not stop her in the slightest.   
Her attention was away from the body being moved, facing more towards the play area that had been built for Jaxs son, and she moved for it, walking over to the gate that led towards the swing set, and slipped inside, her feet carrying her towards one of the swings. Sitting down on it, she started to push herself back and forth, tipping her head back as she became soaked, hearing the crack of thunder, seeing the flash of lightning. Tanya didn't mind the sound, didn't mind that the rain was so cold against her skin, leaving her shirt sticking too her, and her hair as well. None of that mattered, her eyes drifting closed for a moment, she shuddered, a silent sob escaping her. It wasn't over, not yet, but he was gone, and that meant a real chance at getting over all of the things that had happened to her. That's all that she wanted. To be able to move on, and get over it. For the first time in ten years, despite what killing him would bring down on herself, and all the people around her, she felt completely and utterly free. Thoughts were interrupted however, at hands taking hold of her arms, and she tilted her head forward once more, eyes drifting open to come face to face with Tig, who had apparently continued following her when she'd been so sure that he'd stopped.  
“You need to get inside before you end up sick.”He spoke, a sigh passing through his lips,”Don't know what you think that you're doing, but this really ain't a good idea, darlin'.”  
“I think that I was enjoying the rain for a second.”She shot back, flashing him a slightly sarcastic smile,”You don't need to take care of me, I'm fine.”  
“Yeah, you ever seen anyone die before?”He tilted his head just a bit, looking her over for a moment, before his gaze settled on her face,”Because you weren't looking so hot there for a second.”  
There was a pause, and Tanya looked down, her expression dropping for a moment. Of course, he would be quick to call her out on that. Then again, could she really blame him? She'd just watched someone have their brains blown out, and the person behind the trigger hadn't even batted an eye. It didn't matter how wicked her husband might have been, it was the act, not the victim, that left her shivering just a bit. Pushing herself to her feet, the woman looked at Tig for a moment and shook her head, gritting her teeth, before letting out a heavy sigh. Sniffing just a bit, she shrugged her shoulders, and started to move out of his grasp, around him, away from him.   
“I'm still not doing all that fantastic.”She admitted as she walked off, glancing back at him over her shoulder,”But it had to be done, his options were clear, right?”  
“Yes, they were.”He agreed, a poor attempt at reassurance, turning on his heel and starting after her, and for a moment she wished that he wouldn't,”He can't hurt you anymore, Tanya.”  
“I know.”  
Bringing himself so that he was walking beside her, Tig turned his head so that he was looking at her, down at her since she stood a great deal shorter than him, and gave her a very small smile. His face was still covered in bruises, a cut across his cheek, he looked rough, and she almost felt the need to apologize. It was her fault that he'd been in that fight, that he'd been hurt. Shrugging it off, she let herself start towards the clubhouse, to head back inside as he requested, the closer they got to the door, he fell in line behind her, letting her step inside first.   
Tanya didn't stop just because she was inside, she started to move, heading towards the small hallway that would lead back to the rooms, the apartments, knowing that one of them would be open, hoping that one of them would be open. A few glanced up, watching her, and she only nodded at them, giving brief smiles, as if to reassure that she was fine. She would be fine, eventually. Entering the hallway, there was that sense of relief, at being alone, at being away from gazes and questioning looks. Tig had been very right, she hadn't seen anyone die before, not like that. It felt like it was playing on a loop in her head as the noise settled into silence, the images of blood and brain matter, and dead eyes staring upwards bouncing around in her head again and again. Maybe she should have stayed out there where there were people to distract her. Turning the handle of the first apartment door that she came to, she found it to be open, and pushed the door open, slipping inside, and shutting it behind her. Tanya made her way over to the bed, and sat down, curling herself forward and making a strangled sound in the back of her throat.   
This was such a strange place to be in. Her head spinning from what she had just witnessed, but her body feeling weightless of the relief that came with him being dead. Everything loud, like a hurricane taking place just behind her eyes. Sniffing again, she wiped her eyes, shaking her head a bit, working to pull herself together quickly. How she wished that Tig would have just let her stay in the rain instead of coming over and pointing out how she'd nearly passed out the second that Happy had opened fire. There was a great deal of anger and frustration that came with him pointing out what she had been more than willing to overlook.   
The door opening pulled at her attention, and she looked up to see Tig standing there. A soft grunt escaped her, and she pushed herself to her feet, crossing her arms over her chest, giving a slight tilt of her head while she watched him. He shut the door behind him, looking down at the floor for a moment, and then back up to her, moving towards her slowly. Tanya moved backwards, it was an automatic reaction, one that she couldn't help, nor did she have any control over. Tig paused, and narrowed his eyes, and then he was moving again, picking up speed and clearing the space between them before Tanya had a chance to get away. Reaching out, he grabbed for her again, taking a firm hold on her arms and holding her in place, looking her over for a second, and much to her surprise, his features softened. Tanya clicked her tongue against the roof of her mouth, and shook her head at him, wanting to roll her eyes, she wasn't something fragile, something easily broken, if that were the case, she would have been lost well before now.  
“What?”She shot out, not giving him a chance to speak first.  
“You alright?”He questioned, eyes flicking back up to her face.  
“Oh, peachy, really, I've always wondered what someones brains actually look like.”Tanya answered, dropping her gaze as the words rolled off of her tongue,”I don't really want to talk about it, alright?”  
“Alright.”  
“Thank you, for coming for me today.”She wanted to move back, out of his reach, away from him, wanted to keep up her sarcasm and being hard with him, but he needed to know that his actions were appreciated. She'd been terrified that it was all over, and he'd proven her wrong.   
“Don't got to thank me for that, I told you that I had your back.”He smirked a bit, letting go of one of her arms, to press his fingers underneath her chin, making her lift her head to look at him,”You might be a stubborn girl, but I always liked a little fight in my women.”  
“I'm not your woman.”She huffed, narrowing her eyes a bit.  
“No, you've made your stance very clear with that.”His tone teasing, laughter in his voice, and she could have punched him for that, not appreciating that he was poking fun,”How long you going to keep pushing me back, darlin'?”   
“Always.”She wasn't sure that it was entirely the truth, but she didn't want him thinking that he'd somehow magically won her over, because life doesn't work like that. People don't work like that,”Why are you so sure that you can get closer?”   
“Just got a feeling, is all.”  
“Your intuition is off by a wide margin.”  
“Says you.”  
Tanya grimaced and looked away from him. Six months of this. If she thought she was going to get a solid day where he didn't somehow push at her a bit, see how far he could get, she was asking for too much. Six months of him pointing out his interest, trying to coax her into his bed, and her denying him every time. But her denying him still hadn't been enough to keep Joe from thinking that she'd been sleeping with Tig. He'd still seen the two of them as being a thing, that she'd been with Tig the whole time, and there was something utterly frustrating about that. Also something satisfying all in the same manner of thinking. Joe had been hurt, he'd been upset, thinking that she'd moved on with her life, and that nearly made her grin, thinking about the accusations, the conversation. Her mind rolling over these things, she felt Tig slowly start to let go of her, and a thought popped into her head, nearly causing her to laugh as she turned to look at the man. He was starting to move away from her, starting back towards the door, and she reached for him, grabbing his wrist, and tugging him back. Spit on the memory of the man who ruined her life. Make his fears a reality. That is what occurred to her. Maybe if she's lucky, he'll be witness to this in the afterlife, and he can spend all of eternity thinking about it.   
“Wait.”She spoke quickly, causing Tig to pause and look at her again.   
“Yeah?”He questioned, turning so that he was facing her once more.  
Feeling her stomach twisting into knots, Tanya stepped forward, her hand sliding up his arm and across his shoulder, and she could see the confusion on his features. He wouldn't be confused for very long, at least, she hoped not. This could seriously backfire if he pushes her away. Her other hand coming up, she slid it around his neck, bringing herself in close, pressing herself up against him, Tanya pushed herself up on her tiptoes, and pressed her lips to his. This was only sex. This was to fill a gap and fulfill some twisted fantasy of hers to make Joe suffer even in death. Having been around Tig for the last six months, she could guess that he would easily get on board with that.   
There was tightness at first, when her lips found his. He wasn't kissing her back, in fact, she felt his hands find her sides and he started to move her to pull her away, but she tightened her hold, making a small sound in the back of her throat. Understand what she's doing, please understand. Don't make her say it out loud. If she has to say it out loud, she may not be able to go forward with it, she may back out, get scared. Hands tightening against her, she felt his mouth soften against hers, and he was kissing her back, moving into the kiss so that she could stand on flat feet, one of his hands moving up to cup the side of her neck, sliding back into her hair, tangling in dark locks and tightening there, tugging at it, causing her to hiss into the kiss just a bit. He tasted like smoke, and beer, and something sharp, something she couldn't quite put her finger on. He tasted good, she wasn't going to lie about that for a second, her chest tightening as her stomach felt like it was doing flips, one of her hands sliding down to his kutte, tugging at it just a bit, pulling him so that he would move forward as she started back towards the bed.   
It took a second or two to coax him, to get him to follow along, and then they were moving, backing up until the back of her knees hit the mattress. She pulled at him again as she started to move back on the bed, lips parting to give him access, her tongue meeting his, the kiss growing hungry and deep very quickly. Tig came forward, one hand resting against the bed while the other released her hair, to grab for her chest, cupping and squeezing it through her shirt, through her bra, but the contact caused her to inhale deeply through her nose, letting out another soft noise to encourage him to keep going. It seemed enough to do the trick, because he brought himself up on his knees on the bed, pulling back from the kiss to look down at her. Tanya stared up at him, lips tingling, feeling swollen from the pressure of the kiss, and he grabbed for the bottom of her shirt, pulling at it while she raised her arms. He pulled it up and over her head, tossing it off to the side, onto the floor, she wasn't really sure where, but that didn't seem to much matter to her. She reached out, grabbing for the buckle of his belt, hands fumbling just a bit as she got it unlatched, leaving it hanging loose, her fingers finding the button on his jeans, nervous, jittery, but she held herself together, getting his jeans unbuttoned, and unzipped, sliding her hand down the front of his pants, and taking hold of him. There was another moment where he paused, while she began to stroke him, working him up, wanting to get him hard for her, taking her time with her actions, starting out with teasing him through his boxers before pushing those down and out of her way, taking hold of him, her hand pumping and stroking, while he reached around her to unhook her bra, leaving it hanging loose on her body.  
There was a great deal of nervousness that came with this. She'd been fighting him off for months, aware that he was interested in getting in her pants, interested in seeing how long it would take before he got her naked, and after all that fighting, here she was giving him a hand-job while he did his best to focus on getting her undressed. How was that going to look later when they were all finished, and she was going home. Would he ask? Would he question it? Probably not, but she did think about it, how she would answer him. Shrugging her thoughts away, she released his cock, and placed both hands on his hips, pushing him to get him to sit up straight on his knees again, moving to get on her own knees as she did this, bringing herself face to face with him, instead of having him towering over her. Swallowing hard, she dropped her bra away from her frame, and tossed it aside, in the same direction that her shirt had gone, and then she reached for the button of her own jeans. Unbuttoning them, she pushed them down over her hips, giving a small wiggle to work the material off of her, while he watched her, looked her over. It took her a second of fighting, of having to lift her legs, and probably move a lot less smoothly than she would have liked, but she didn't care, because that left her completely naked, having gone ahead and let her panties go with her jeans, trying to cut down on the work here the best that she could. It was all about going through with this before she could chicken out.   
Looking up at his face, she could see him moving to pull his kutte off, climbing up off of the bed, tugging his boxers back up a bit so that he could walk over to the chair pushed into the desk, and he draped his leather over it, tugging his t-shirt off once he was able. Tanya watched as he leaned down to work his boots off, before turning to face her again, starting back towards the bed, chewing on her bottom lip a bit. The very moment that he was close enough, he grabbed her and lifted her up, bringing her down on her ass, and moved to bring himself over top of her, leaning down and biting her chest, causing her to suck in a sharp breath and let it out in the form of a soft cry, her whole body tensing for a moment. She had not been expecting the contact, the sting of his teeth against her soft skin. She couldn't focus on that for long however, because his hand found its way between her legs, his fingers playing with her, before taking her, sliding inside of her as deep as he could go, and she clenched, letting out a small moan at the pressure, the feeling, closing her eyes tightly while she grabbed the wrist of the hand that was down there, digging her fingers in just a bit as she felt him starting to pump, taking her hard with his fingers, causing her to jerk and wiggle just a bit against the feeling of it, panting softly , the feeling of his mouth wrapping around one of her nipples leaving her pushing out her chest, pressing herself into his mouth. His tongue flicked her nipple, and she gasped, tensing and shivering against the feeling, whining softly at him.   
His movements, his actions, were rough, there was a demanding nature with the way that he played with her, teased her, and it left her aching, her soft moans growing louder, while his fingers took her again and again. Her free hand made its way to his hair, tugging at it, while she arched, her hips moving along with his fingers, working with the pace that he set, panting and whimpering against the feeling. Her muscles tight as she seemed to buckle herself down, belly flexing against the sensation, against the way it left her feeling, causing pressure to build and grow. However, Tig didn't seem to be willing to keep that pressure growing, because he pulled away, causing her eyes to open quickly, looking up at him, seeing him pushing his jeans down again, his boxers coming down with the material. Working on catching her breath, Tanya wiggled a bit against the bed while he finished getting undressed, only for her movements to be stopped when he grabbed hold of her again, pulling her back to him, and sliding between her legs, pinning her down on the bed. For a split second there was something terrifying about that, and she could feel the panic rising in her chest, and Tanya started to move to push him away. He seemed to realize, or see something, she still wasn't sure, because he leaned down and pressed his lips to hers again, taking his time with his movements, easing up on how demanding he had been only moments ago.  
Tanya swallowed the panic, swallowed the fear, reminding herself again and again that this wasn't Joe, that this wasn't a matter of taking it to survive. She kept these things rolling around in her head while she reached out and grabbed for Tigs biceps, while he moved himself forward, reaching down between them, to guide his cock forward, getting it into position, and pressing it inside of her, bucking forward to take her completely. Breaking from the kiss the moment that he slipped inside of her, Tanya let out a loud moan, the rush of release that flooded over her at his girth, and the way he filled her up, nearly knocking the air out of her for a moment. She forced her eyes open and looked up at him, seeing that he was watching her, taking his time as he started into her, going slow at first, letting her get used to the feeling of it, and her fingers dug into his skin. After a few moments of this, she started to work her body back up to meet his, helping to pull him in, her hips meeting his as he comes forward to take her, leaving her moaning, panting, her body arching and rolling beneath him. As long as she kept her eyes open, then she wasn't panicking, she wasn't afraid, and so she forced herself to stay that way. Forced her eyes to stay open so that she could take him in while he rode her into the mattress, picking up speed, taking her harder, the longer that it went, those demanding movements coming back into play once he was certain that she wasn't about to have a meltdown or something. Now all she had to hope for is that this didn't turn into something that she would regret for the rest of her life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry that it has taken me literally an eternity to get back into this, however, I am going to do an honest job at keeping this updated as best as I can. xoxo


	9. Chapter 9

Rolling over onto her side, Tanya woke up the next morning, aching between her legs, her whole body aching now that she stopped to think about it. It hadn't just been once, it had been four times during the course of the evening, among other fun activities that got tossed in. She blinked a bit, ad moved to sit up, turning to see that he was still face down in his pillow. She nearly snorted, but settled on shaking her head. Moving slowly, she managed to get herself out of the bed, walking over to where her panties were and sliding them on, her shirt, jeans, everything, pretty close together and that was really helpful. Tanya made fast work of getting herself dressed, looking over again once she was done, to see that he was still asleep, and she bit her lip, part of her feeling guilty for bailing. But she couldn't feel too guilty. He would have done the same if he had woke up first.   
Pulling her shoes back on, she made her way to the door, slipping out of the room quickly, quietly as absolutely possible, making her way down the hall so that she could go home. Stepping out into the main room of the clubhouse, it was fairly empty. Chibs was here, he was always here though, she had come to notice, and there was the couple of prospects, croweaters, as the men liked to call them, otherwise, it was quiet. She nodded her head towards Chibs, making her way towards the door before pausing mid-step, turning to look at him again, and clearing her throat, pulling at his attention.  
“Aye?”He questioned, arching a brow as he sat his coffee down.  
“Can you run me home?”She questioned, giving a small shrug of her shoulder,”Kind of don't have my car...”  
“What 'bout Tig, ain't he gon' do it?”He paused for a moment, before snorting and pushing away from the bar, getting to his feet and moving towards her,”Nevermin', I'll take ya.”  
Tanya nodded her head, quickly moving to exit the building, pushing the door open and slipping outside, Chibs right behind her, before coming around her to take the lead. She followed after him towards his bike, looking around a bit as she moved forward, taking everything in. This was probably a horrible way to handle things, but there wasn't anything to handle. He wanted to have sex with her, and he got it, and in the process, she was left feeling like she'd accomplished some really wonderful revenge. One night stands weren't her forte however, so there was a pull, one that she quickly squashed, coming to stand next to Chibs' bike, while he climbed on first, and she quickly followed, bringing herself down on the seat behind him, her arms sliding around him once the bike was started up. Tanya held on as he pulled out of his parking space, looking over to see Tig stepping outside as they rode by, and there was a slight pang of guilt, again, squashed before she let it bother her too badly. What else had he expected, for her to wait around until he bailed first? Nope, that wasn't how this was going to work. This was on her terms, not his.  
The ride back to her little apartment wasn't a long one, and before Tanya really had caught up with her surroundings, she was climbing off the back of the bike. Stretching a bit, she glanced around before turning her full attention back on the one who had brought her home, giving him an easy smile. He flashed one back, leaning over to shut his bike off, which surprised her just a bit, but she didn't say this out loud, only gave him a curious look, waiting to see what he was doing.  
“You doin' al'ight?”He questioned, leaning forward on his handle bars a bit.   
“Yeah, I am, I wasn't so sure last night, I'll admit, but...”She paused, and looked down and around for a moment,”But, I'm kind of glad he's dead, I don't know if that makes me a bad person or not, but it's there, and I am not going to apologize for it.”  
“I don' think it makes ya a bad person, but tha's just me.”He commented, sniffing a bit, studying her for a moment, before sighing a bit,”Ya know, runnin' out on people ain't very kind.”  
“Just beating him to the punch line.”She retorted, giving a small shrug of her shoulders,”I don't have to explain my actions to you, you know.”  
“No, ya don', yer right.”He agreed, giving a very small shrug of his shoulders,”Just didn' take ya for the kind'a girl that hit and quit.”  
“Guess a few years in hell really changes a persons mind on things.”She pressed her lips together in a thin line, crossing her arms over her chest.  
“Look, I'm just tryin' ta figure out where ya goin' with this, girlie.”He explained, sitting up straight again,”'Cause ya don't need to go playin' games with any of us, getting him all twisted up inside, tha's how people get killed, ya understand?”  
“This isn't a game, that was sex, plain and simple, a release, something that women need as much as you men.”She spoke slowly, holding his gaze, her brows furrowing for a moment,”I don't play games with people, that's never been my style, so you don't need to worry.”  
“Aye, a'ight.”He spoke after a moment, his face seeming to give away that he had stopped to think about something, and she nearly opened her mouth to ask him,”Listen up girlie, I like ye, I do, jus' be careful 'bout not getting yerself in shite that ya can't get outta, yeah?”  
“Yeah, I hear you.”She shook her head, before turning on her heels and starting towards the door, pausing when she was almost there, and looking over her shoulder at Chibs,”Why do you say that though?”  
“Jus' watchin' out fer everyone involved s'all.”  
“Okay.”  
She didn't bother saying goodbye, she simply pulled her keys out of her pocket, and unlocked the front door to her open. Stepping inside, Tanya closed the door behind her, leaning against it and closing her eyes tightly. She didn't like those assumptions, and she wasn't sure where they had come from. She could almost tell Chibs to go jump off a bridge for jumping to conclusions like that. First off, she was in no position to be getting seriously involved with anyone, and second off, even if she was, what made Tig the guy worth getting involved with? From what she'd heard, and seen, he didn't exactly have a great streak when it came to women. Huffing a bit to herself, she pushed away from the door and made her way through the apartment, down the hall to the bathroom. She needed a shower. Badly.   
Her shower had been a good one, it seemed to, in her opinion, do the trick. Washing away everything from the day before, including the way her skin still smelled like him. Not that he smelled bad, not really, but she would rather not carry that around all day like some walk of shame banner. Brushing her hair out, Tanya stared at herself in the mirror, the dark circles under her eyes weren't as defined as they had been, go figure a good work out would make a person sleep that much better. Making her way back out into the living room, she heard her phone go off, and frowned just a bit, walking over and scooping it up off the coffee table. She'd missed five calls in a row. Arching her brow, she flipped it open and pressed the phone to her ear.  
“Yeah?”  
“Where'd you take off to?”  
“Uh...”She pulled her phone away and looked down at the name that came up,”Because I had shit to do.”  
“Couldn't have let me take you home?”  
“You got what you wanted.”She pointed out,”So, I didn't figure there was any point.”  
“Oh.”The sound of his voice dropped a bit, and Tanya made a face, nearly rolling her eyes,”Alright.”  
She wasn't sure what she'd been expecting, maybe for him to defend himself, try and claim that his actions weren't purely selfish, that he wasn't just after a new piece of tail. She was, however, not left caught off guard. She'd been fully prepared for the silence that came after his response, as though she'd caught up at his own game. Pulling the phone away for a moment, she looked at it, seeing that the call was still going, and then the phone was pressed against her ear once more.  
“Sorry if you were expecting me to pine over you or something.”She spoke, breaking the silence.  
“Nah, I wouldn't expect something like that out of a girl like you.”He shot back quickly, his tone a little harder now, she didn't miss that,”Look, I got some shit to do, can I come over later?”  
“No, but I'll come to the clubhouse, text me when you're finished with whatever you're doing.”  
“Alright.”  
There was a click, and that let Tanya know that he'd hung up. Shaking her head, she slid her phone into her pocket, and brought herself over to the couch, dropping down on it, and turning on the television. She really didn't have anything to do today, other than apparently wait for Tig to finish with his business. Curling her legs up underneath her, she flipped through a few channels before settling on something that would simply fill the silence, and decided she was just going to hang out for the day. She finally had a chance to simply relax, to not be sitting on the edge of her seat, wondering when everything was going to come crashing down around her, and she planned on taking full advantage of it.   
The day wore on, and night fell, Tanya had ended up dozing on the couch for a few hours, nothing serious, just catching up on sleep that she hadn't been able to enjoy for months. Her phone going off however, pulled at her attention, and she shook her head, sitting herself up again, while she reached for her phone sitting on the coffee table, sliding it open and there was a text from Tig. He was outside, and for her to come outside. For a split second she actually considered telling him to go away, that she was busy, that she didn't want to talk. Tanya had told him not to come here, that she would come to the clubhouse, and yet, this is the route that he'd chosen to take. Shaking her head, she locked her phone, and pushed it into her pocket, pushing herself up off the couch. Pulling the front door open and slipping outside, she saw Tig sitting on his bike, smoking a cigarette, and waiting. Just waiting. He made no effort to come to her front door, and she had another moment where she wanted to tell him to just leave. To just go away.  
“Hey.”She said quietly, moving down the steps and coming over to where he was standing,”Thought I said meet at the clubhouse?”  
“Didn't want to,”He answered, looking up at her, flicking his cigarette away,”Wanted to be able to actually talk to you without anyone in our shit.”  
“Our shit?”  
“Yeah, I mean, I don't want to be the one to point this out, but we've spent the last six months dancing around each other, we have sex, and then you bail, after watching your ex-husband gets his brains blown out.”He tilted his head a bit,”And so, I'd say the word our is a pretty good one to use.”  
“We had sex, Tig.”She shook her head at him,”It was just sex, we both got release from it, and that was the end of it.”  
“You sure?”  
“Are you?”  
“No.”  
“Why?”  
There was a brief silence, and Tanya was tempted to take a step back away from him. She wasn't entirely sure what the issue was here, but the look on his face told her that there was in fact an issue. Pressing her lips together in a thin line, she kept her eyes on him, finally taking a step back when he swung his leg over the bike, and brought himself to his feet.   
“You assume I was going to take and throw away.”  
“Yeah, isn't that what you do?”  
“Yeah, guess it is.”  
“So, what's the issue then?”  
Tig seemed to take a second at this question, brows knitting together as he looked down at the ground. Tanya could almost see the gears turning, wondering what it was that he was thinking, wondering what it was being tossed around inside that thick skull of his. She didn't understand the point of this, she didn't know what she was missing here. It felt like she was missing something, and nobody was giving her the answers.  
“You know, I actually do like you.”Tig finally spoke, causing Tanya to blink.  
“Okay?”She responded after a moment, shaking her head,”So you like me, that doesn't really mean a whole lot in the long run.”  
“No, I mean, I actually genuinely like you, in a...”He paused for a moment, considering his words,”You have my interest and I want more than just a quick lay from you.”  
“So what do you want then?”  
“I don't know.”  
“That...was not very helpful at all.”  
“Yeah, I'm well aware that it wasn't helpful, Tanya.”He snapped, before sighing, settling back down once more,”Look, I don't really know what I'm doing, I'm not exactly a guru here, so what I know is that a one night stand is not what I was aiming for.”  
“Well,”She paused for a moment, pressing her lips together, then with a quick shrug of her shoulders, she started back towards the stairs,”Try this conversation again when you know what it is you are aiming for, because I think I've had enough of people tugging me around to last several lifetimes.”  
Starting up the stairs, Tanya thought about looking back at him, thought about turning around and pushing, making him talk about whatever it is that was going on in his head. However, that would take away the point of what she was trying to do here. As far as she was concerned, he was just out to get what he wanted, and he'd been trying to get her for the last six months, therefore, challenge completed. He, however, seemed to be looking at this from a very different angle than she had originally thought, but it wasn't her job to make him talk about it. It wasn't her job to do anything. Grabbing for the door knob, she heard footsteps behind her, and it had her turning around to see what was going on. She came face to face with Tig, who grabbed her shoulders and pushed her up against the door, his movements careful, wary, as though he were trying to make her understand he wasn't about to hurt her. That didn't stop her heart from getting stuck in her throat, panic setting in for a moment, and she almost screamed, the sound only being cut off by his lips against hers. She paused, and relaxed for a moment, kissing him back, and then her hands found his chest, and she pushed, pushing him back and away from her, making him take a step away, while she fought to catch her breath, hands shaking, her whole body shaking, and it wasn't with excitement.  
“Don't do that.”She hissed between clenched teeth,”Don't grab me like that.”  
“I'm sorry.”  
“Go home, Trager, I'm done.”  
Turning, she grabbed the door and pulled it open, slipping inside and shutting it before anything else could be said. The second that the door was between the two of them, she leaned against it, and dropped to the floor. He wouldn't hurt her, she knew that, she was well aware of that, but it didn't stop her from being scared, it didn't stop that panic from sitting in her chest, making it hard to breath, to think. He wasn't going to hurt her, but she was still terrified, and she figured that she always would be. She might be safe when she was around him, around anyone of the club members, but she wasn't over the last ten years of her life.


	10. Chapter 10

Tanya didn't bother going to the clubhouse for a few days, didn't return any phone calls. The only contact she had was when Gemma had finally stopped to see if she was still alive. Of course, Tanya chose to play it off as though she were just taking a few days to herself, enjoying the peace and quiet for a moment. She wasn't about to tell the other woman that it was because she didn't want to see Tig, didn't want to speak to him, didn't want anything to do with him right at the moment. It still wasn't a matter of thinking that he would hurt her, but all the same, the way he'd grabbed for her had shook her up, and he hadn't stepped up and apologized. Not that she expected him to, but that left her feeling rather wary over the idea of being around him right at the moment.   
However, she did realize that she couldn't just keep ignoring people. That would probably look bad, probably get people asking questions, worrying about her, and that was the last thing that she wanted. Pulling on a t-shirt, Tanya darted into the bathroom, quickly brushing her hair out, pulling it back into a pony tail. She had some work to get done in the office at the garage, not wanting to keep that stuff landing on Gemma, since the other woman was busy helping Jax with his sons, and handling other things going on around them. Pressing her lips together, she sighed, looking at herself in the mirror. She didn't look sleep deprived anymore, she didn't look like a scared little rabbit trying to hide from the big bad wolf. She looked normal again, and it was nice to see that as she studied her own reflection. Normal is all she wanted, to feel whole in her own skin, and she was getting there. There was still a lot buried beneath it, but it was a work in progress, and one that seemed to be, in her opinion, going somewhere. Hopefully it stayed that way.  
Making her way back into the living room, Tanya reached down and swiped up the keys to her car, grabbing her phone and shoving it in her pocket, and started towards the door. She hadn't quite made it when there was a knock that gave her pause, and she found herself frowning just a bit. Fighting off the need to sigh and roll her eyes, she cleared what was left of the distance between where she was standing, and the front door. Opening it, she was surprised to find herself face to face with two men in suits. One of them looked her over for a moment, before clearing his throat.  
“Is this the residence of Tanya Morrison?”He asked, pulling his sunglasses off.  
“Depends on who's asking.”She shot back quickly.  
“Name's Alexander Hoyt, a co-worker of your husbands.”  
“Okay, and you're here why?”She could feel the panic swelling in her chest, but she shoved it down as best as she could. Mere days, and there was already someone here looking for him, she figured she would have a few weeks before anyone started asking questions.   
“He hasn't shown up for work in a week, our boss is getting a little worried, we were hoping that you'd be able to help us out.”  
“Me and him split up nearly six months ago, I left, have been getting everything together to file for divorce.”She explained, frowning a bit, leaning against her door, fingers tightening against it,”I don't have any way of helping you two out, I'm sorry.”  
“You sure that you haven't seen him at all?”  
“Pretty sure, yeah.”  
Pushing away from the door, she stepped out, and pulled it closed behind. Turning her attention on the two of them, Tanya did her best to keep her expression neutral. She wasn't sure how she felt about these two men, she wasn't sure how to feel about any of it. There was panic, and worry, and fear, and satisfaction in knowing that she was keeping herself together a lot better than she thought she would.   
“Look, I can't help either of you, and I can't help your boss.”She stated, after a moment,”So you should go, look somewhere else, I left him, and in that, I don't keep track of him.”  
“Alright well, thank you for your assistance.”He nods his head, placing his sunglasses back on his face, and the two men turned, starting for the stairs. Pausing, he looks at her once more over his shoulder,”If we need anything else, we'll return.”  
Before Tanya had a chance to say anything about this, the two men walked off, leaving her standing on the small patio alone. They climbed into a black SUV, and after just a moment, they drove off. Pressing her lips together, Tanya thought she might actually throw up for a second, her stomach in tight knots, and now that she was alone, she reached back and pressed her hand firmly on the door, leaning against it, closing her eyes tightly. She had been so sure that she'd have more time, that SAMCRO would have more time before anyone showed up. The worst part about this was she wasn't entirely sure what it was that Joe had done for a living, he always just told her it was security detail. Shaking her head, she let out a shuddered breath, and pushed away from the door, rushing down to her car and climbing in. She needed to let Jax or someone know what had happened, give them a heads up.   
The drive to the garage was quick, and she was grateful for that. Sometimes, there were these moments where she was just extremely grateful that Charming was the size that it was. It wasn't massive, it wasn't hard to find where you needed to go. This was one of those moments. Pulling up into the lot, she climbed out of her car, and started towards the office, eyes darting around to see who was here, and who wasn't. It might not really matter, in the long run, as long as Jax found out before anyone stopped in to visit SAMCRO. She wasn't entirely sure that would happen, but this was a 'trust nobody' sort of situation. Pushing the office door open, she started to step inside when she realized that Jax and Chibs were standing there with the two men from earlier. Blinking, Tanya pushed down the urge to make a noise, that panic rising in her chest again.  
“Ma'am.”The one who had spoke to her looked over from where he was seated on the arm of the couch,”Didn't expect to see you here.”  
“I work here.”She shrugged, before looking at Jax,”Everything alright?”  
“Yeah, they came to poke your boss, and co-workers about your ex-husband, I'll assume they bothered you this morning already?”   
“Yeah, that's why I'm running a little behind.”  
Jax nodded his head, glancing up at Chibs for a moment. Tanya looked between the two of them, before turning her attention to the men on the couch. She was the better part of annoyed that they had beat her here. She had been seriously hoping that they wouldn't come at all. Thoughts stirring around what it was that Joe had been doing, where these men had got their information from. She pressed her lips together in a thin line, but said nothing for several moments, silence filling the tiny office.  
“Listen, if any of you hear anything, you need to contact us immediately.”One of the men broke through the silence,”It's important that we find him, find out why it is that he's missing, he's an important asset to our company, and to our boss.”  
The two men got to their feet, and the one who had been doing all the talking dug into his pocket, pulling out a card, handing it over to Jax. Tanya slipped farther into the office, moving closer to Jax and Chibs, tempted to do her best to hide behind the Scot, but she held her head up, kept herself firmly in place. The two stepped out of the office, and started towards the car, and Tanya stood there silently with the two men until the strangers were in their SUV, and driving off. Stepping away from Chibs, she shut the door to the office, turning to face the two of them with wide eyes.  
“Uh...”She threw her hands out in front of her,”The hell are we suppose to do with that?”  
“Let us handle it.”Jax answered, sitting up a bit straighter, before getting to his feet,”You just keep selling the story that you hadn't seen him, and anything else, the club will handle it.”  
“I don't even know how they knew where to look.”She hissed out, frowning at Jax,”What else could they potentially know?”  
“We'll find out, the guy handed me his card, we'll look into the security company and see what's up with these guys,”Jax was keeping his tone even and calm, looking Tanya over for a moment,”You're protected, you didn't hurt that asshole, they can't touch you.”  
“I don't know about that.”She pressed her lips together for a moment,”and neither do you, I know what Joe was capable of, and if this is the company he keeps, who are you to say that all's well in the neighborhood?”  
“I'm telling you, Tanya, you've got to trust me.”Jax spoke slowly, each word holding a hint of finality to them,”You're safe, you're protected, whatever they think they know, there isn't even so much as a body to find at this point, they can't touch you, and anything that happens, we're right here, we've got your back, you didn't even do anything, you didn't kill Joe, so there's nothing to pin on you anyway.”  
“Alright.”She spoke quickly, giving a small wave of her hand, she didn't know that she fully believed his words, but she wasn't going to sit here and argue with him either, that would be a waste of time,”Alright, I'm with you.”  
Jax nodded his head, reaching over and patting Chibs on the arm. Chibs gave a short nod of his head, pulling the side door of the office open and stepping back into the garage. Tanya watched him go, before her attention fell back on Jax, who hadn't walked away yet. She could feel that frown tugging at her lips again, brows furrowing as she tried to settle on what conversation was getting ready to happen. Probably questions on where she's been over the last several days, and she wasn't entirely sure she wanted to tell him all about that. Even if he was her boss, and therefore it made it his business.  
“Where've you been?”He asked, leaning his hip against the desk.  
“Home.”She answered honestly, fighting off the need to sigh at him for asking that question,”I've been at home...”  
“You couldn't answer your phone and let someone know that?”  
“I told Gemma.”  
“Three days into your little disappearing act.”He gave her a rather pointed look that she did finally sigh over.  
“I'm sorry.”She shrugged, moving around him to sit down at the desk,”I was having a tough go, and doing anything in general was proving to be harder than it should have been.”  
“Heard about you and Tig.”He turned to face her,”That didn't have anything to do with it, did it?”  
“We had sex, yeah.”She glanced up at him,”However, if you think that I was at home crying and pining over that man, you should stop right where you are and walk away.”  
“Careful, Tanya.”Jax warned, frowning at her,”I was just asking.”  
“You, and Chibs both.”She turned a bit in her seat, to face him better,”And I will tell you what I told him, I beat Tig to the punch line and went home after the deed was done, I'm not all twisted up, and I'm not going to cause a problem for you boys.”  
“You're assuming that's where I was going with any of that,”  
“Weren't you?”  
“No, I was mostly just curious if it was the reason you stayed away, you gave me your answer, sometimes the initial answer is enough.”  
“Sorry...”She glanced down at the desk for a moment, reaching up and pushing some of the papers around.  
“I will point something out though.”Jax moved to stand up straight, giving a bit of a laugh,”If you have to be so defensive over your choice, maybe you should reconsider your position.”  
Tanya looked up at him, and arched her brow. There was a need to ask him if he ever took his own advice, but she bit down on that. Choosing instead, to only nod her head, turning herself so that she was facing the computer. Jax left it at that, slipping back into the garage, and that left Tanya alone. She settled back against the chair, lifting up some of the papers that were sitting on the desk, and glancing over them. There wasn't much that needed to be done, and she suspected it had to do with Chuckie or Gemma being here while she was away. The sound of the fax machine going off behind her pulled at her attention, and she got to her feet. Grabbing for it, she saw that it was a repo list, and sighed a bit, making her way once more out of the office, and finding Ratboy.   
“Hey, these need to be picked up.”She handed the list over, glancing around for a moment as she did so.  
“Alright, thanks.”  
Spotting Tig as Rat walked off, Tanya watched him for a moment, narrowing her eyes just a bit as he went on without noticing her, head down, hands busy on the engine of some truck. Sniffing a bit, she shook her head and started back towards the office. She was defensive because Chibs had frazzled her with his words, making it seem as though she had alternate motives, not because she needed to rethink anything. Jax was wrong. She was completely willing to tell him that to his face too, should it get brought up again.   
The day, thankfully, went without incident. Tanya wasn't really bothered much, the usual guy coming in and out of the office to grab keys, and customers needing to pay for work done, things of that nature. Otherwise, it was quiet, it was easy, and she took every bit of it in, because she was grateful for it. Night falling, and the garage closing up, Tanya shutting everything off when there was footsteps entering the office, and she looked up to see Tig standing there, arms crossed over his chest as he watched her. She arched her brow, and gave a very small tilt of her head, coming to stand, walking around the desk, waiting to see if he was going to say something, or if he was expecting her to speak first.  
“Missed seeing you around here.”He spoke first, leaning against the wall a bit.  
“Yeah?”She questioned, pausing and eyeing him for a moment,”Good to know I was missed.”  
“I uh, I tried calling you.”He shrugged his shoulder, clearing his throat a bit,”Got worried about you.”  
“I'm fine, Trager.”She shook her head,”What are you doing?”  
“I actually...”He paused for a moment, pushing off of the wall so that he was standing up straight,”Wanted to apologize for the other night, I didn't mean to grab you like that, I should have known better.”  
“Yes, you should have.”She nodded her head, before glancing down at the ground,”It's fine though, it's alright, I know you didn't mean anything by it.”  
“No, I really didn't.”He took a step towards her,”Were you trying to avoid me?”  
“It's only been six months.”She looked back up at him,”After ten years in hell, six months isn't enough time to just...be okay with the world around you again...while I can handle a lot, more than I thought I could...there are still some things that are going to push me down, intentional or not.”  
“I'm not exactly a gentle soul, you know.”He commented, having given a moment or two of silence to consider her words,”I don't know how to go on doing this shit.”  
“I know that you're not.”She snorted, shaking her head,”Good, that makes two of us.”  
“So, what do you want me to do?”  
“Show some patience.”She looked down for a moment, and then back up at him,”You claim to be interested, but, pushing me isn't being interested, it's being pushy, so...be patient, maybe give me a chance to figure out if I feel the same way.”  
“How do you feel?”  
“I feel very lost, Tig.”She admitted, crossing her arms over her chest,”I've been very lost for a very long time, and I can't guarantee that I'll ever find my way again.”  
“You can't really say that, you're clearly a survivor, I mean, come on, everyone has dark spots in their life.”  
“Don't pep talk me right now.”She rolled her eyes, starting to move at that point,”Look, if you want, you're welcome to come over tonight, I know you didn't mean anything bad by grabbing me, and we're good.”  
“Alright, I'll follow you there.”


	11. Chapter 11

Pulling up in front of her apartment, Tanya pushed the door open and climbed out of the car, turning to see Tig pulling up beside her. She bit her bottom lip, chewing on it a bit, although she didn't say anything, she simply waited for him to climb off the bike, and found herself starting towards the front door, letting him follow after her. To be completely honest, she wasn't even really sure why she told him that he could come over, maybe because, despite being shaken up, she was perfectly aware that he wasn't going to hurt her.   
Hearing the front door shut from where she was, moving into the kitchen, Tanya glanced over her shoulder, and saw Tig standing there, his hands in his front pockets, and she gave him a small smile. Returning her focus on what she was doing, she grabbed a couple of beers out of the fridge and brought one over to him, tilting her head a bit as she watched him take it. Everything inside of her was in knots, and no matter of telling herself to just relax was making that stop.   
“You know, you should work on not hiding from me when I do shit that spooks you.”Tig pointed out, taking a seat on the couch,”Doesn't really help anything if you run every time you get unnerved.”  
“It's a reflex.”She defended, moving to drop down next to him, pulling her legs up under her as she did so,”It's not like I want to be running around like some scared bunny rabbit.”  
“Yeah, alright.”He paused, taking a sip of his beer, glancing over at her as he brought the bottle back down,”I still didn't mean to scare you, though.”  
“I know.”She responded, her voice quiet, looking down at the bottle in her hands,”I know that, and I've told myself that repeatedly over the last several days.”  
“And you still kept yourself away?”  
“It's mind over matter, and this time, my mind didn't win.”  
Tig nodded his head, turning the bottle in his hand back and forth. Tanya watched him out of the corner of her eye, rolling her bottom lip between her teeth again, before moving to sit her bottle down on the coffee table in front of them. She could see Tig look over at her, and before she gave him a chance to ask what she was doing, she turned and brought herself over onto his lap, straddling it, her knees resting on the cushions on either side of his legs. He moved his arms so that she could get herself there, her hands coming to rest against his shoulders. There was a bit of confusion on his face, and she couldn't really blame him for that, the way the last week had pretty much gone, it was completely understandable. Leaning forward, she pressed her lips to his, closing her eyes as she kissed him, and Tig froze up for a moment, going rigid, it was only for a second though, and then he settled down again, kissing her back. Holding onto it for several seconds, she pulled back, and her lips curled into a simple smile.  
“I'm not afraid of you, Trager.”She informed him,”I'm really not, I'm afraid of the shit in my head, and when you grabbed me the way you did, it brought all of that shit back to the front of my mind, however, you're right, I shouldn't just run and hide when it bothers me.”  
“Good to know I'm not terrifying.”There was a hint of sarcasm to his tone, something that didn't surprise her, though he did sigh a second later and shake his head,”Don't know what to do with you, Tanya.”  
Letting out a snort, Tanya shook her head at him, and then she moved, kissing him again, and he was much quicker to return it this time, his hands cupping her sides, running down until he was gripping her hips. Her own hands moved across his shoulders to cup his neck, and she gave a roll of her body, causing herself to rub up against him, trying to pull for his attention, and with the way his hands tightened against her, she knew that she had it. Tig scooted forward, his hands sliding down her legs, pushing them to guide them around his middle, and Tanya worked with him, getting herself locked in place, her arms wrapping around his neck. He cupped her ass, holding onto it tightly, and pushed himself off the couch, keeping their lips pressed together in a kiss that was growing more heated and hungry with each passing second.   
He managed to make his way through the small apartment, finding her room, and taking her over to the bed, Tig dropped Tanya down on her back. She managed to kick her shoes off without a whole lot of effort, while he grabbed for her jeans, pulling them off of her with quick, needy hands. She reached up and grabbed for his belt, fighting with it for a moment before getting it loose, lifting her hips up so that he could pull her jeans off of her. They were clumsy in getting each other undressed, trying to hurry, and it left her laughing a bit as they stripped each other down, that laughter however, was silenced when Tig climbed on top of her, catching her hands and pinning them above her head. She brought her legs up, resting them against his side as he reached down between them and guided himself up, pressing against her folds, and pushing at them until they parted, so that he could bring his hips forward, and slide into her.   
Although she was naturally tight, the lack of foreplay only made it that much more so, and Tig had to suck in a deep breath, gritting his teeth, and closing his eyes tightly as he fought with almost losing it right then and there. Keeping himself together, he grabbed her hip and raised it, as he started to move, taking her deep, and all Tanya could do was moan and call out, tipping her head back, pressing it into the pillows, her own eyes closed tightly, and she moved her body with his, rolling her hips and rocking herself up to meet him, hearing him grunting and panting above her, his hot breath hitting her face. Letting go of her hands, he rested his palm against the bed next to her head to give himself better purchase, coming into her hard enough that it left her legs jerking and her muscles twitching, pulling loud cries out of her as she brought her arms around and dug her fingers into his back, her nails pressing into his skin, and she scratched and clawed at him as she fought to hold on, their hips slapping together as they moved. It didn't take long for Tanya to lose herself in the feeling of him being buried inside of her the way that he was, the way his movements were claiming, taking what he wanted, and she was more than happy to let him have it too. It left her head spinning, her stomach twisted in knots, butterflies dancing around, while she panted and moaned out his name.   
Staring up at the ceiling, Tanya was still panting softly, and she could hear Tig doing the same next to her. Turning her head to look at him, she moved, rolling over onto her side, and scooted herself closer to him, her hand coming to rest against his chest. She was sore, her legs were still trembling and aching, her stomach tight and hard at the moment. Feeling his arm wrap around her, Tanya let out a content sigh, his fingers brushing through and playing with her hair. She closed her eyes and found herself drifting off to sleep, okay with him staying this time, okay with staying put herself. Moving her head forward a bit as she started to drift, she pressed her ear against his chest and listened to his steady heartbeat until she was completely asleep.   
The sound of a phone ringing pulled Tanya out of her sleep, and she made a rather unhappy noise over this, the soreness she'd felt last night was worse since her muscles had been given time to relax, and she almost winced, but she had to admit to herself, even in her groggy state, she was pretty thrilled with it. Feeling Tig move a bit, she lifted her head, and opened her eyes, watching as he answered his phone. It was a short conversation, and then he hung up again, turning to look at her with a sleepy gaze of his own.  
“Got to get up.”He grunted, looking nearly as unhappy as she felt right now.  
“Why?”The words whined out a bit as she tried to settle herself back down.  
“Club shit, something going on that I need to go take care of.”He explained, moving to sit up, which is what stopped her from settling back down, instead choosing to sit up with him,”I'm really sorry.”   
“No, it's alright.”She gave a very small wave of her hand, before bringing it up to wipe her eyes, moving to get up off the bed, grabbing her panties off of the floor and sliding them on, moving around the bedroom to get herself dressed.  
“Should only be for a few hours though.”He said as he worked on getting himself dressed again as well, pulling back on the clothing that he'd been wearing the night before, sliding his kutte on over his shirt.   
“Okay.”Pulling her jeans on, Tanya looked up at him, giving a small tilt of her head,”That a hint you want to see me later?”  
“Was hoping so.”He shot her a lazy smirk that had her shaking her head and smiling,”If you're alright with that.”  
“I'm alright with it.”She nodded her head, having only taken a second to think about it, the decision seemed compulsive, and she wanted to change her mind, to hesitate, because the idea was to avoid getting attached, but the ache between her legs made her wonder if it wouldn't hurt to get just a little attached.  
Moving towards her, Tig paused, leaning down, he pressed a kiss to her cheek, touching her hip lightly, before moving past her and towards the door. Tanya was left standing there, watching him go, giving a small tilt of her head. There was this question, this wondering what she was maybe allowing herself to get into. She could sit there and say she wasn't interested, that she didn't care, but if she didn't, then she would have kept him away, she would have pushed him away, not go and have sex with him, invite him to come back. Those aren't the actions of someone that has no interest. Frowning a bit to herself, Tanya shook her head, and closed her eyes tightly, drawing in a deep breath and letting it out slowly. Figure it out later, that's what she'd do, she'd figure it out later. With that in mind, she grabbed for the keys and headed for the door herself, hearing the bike starting up, and as she stepped outside, she waved goodbye to Tig as he pulled out of his parking spot and took off down the road.  
The whole of her day had been quiet, Tanya had gone and simply done what she wanted. Spending a good deal of time at the park, since the weather was nice, and it gave her a chance to just sit back and let herself relax. It was easy to keep her mind from turning and spinning too much as the hours ticked on, until she got a call from Tig, asking her where she was, and she told him, let him know that she would be heading to Teller-Morrow to close up the office. Pulling into the parking lot, she saw the whole club standing there, and there were a few guys, her lips pulling into a bit of a frown, she wondered what was going on, climbing out of the car with that question at the tip of her tongue. She didn't spend too much time being nosy however, making her way towards the office, keeping her eyes on the office as she moved, stepping inside and Tig was standing there, along with Ratboy and Quinn. Blinking, she frowned again, looking over her shoulder, before looking at the three men again.  
“Everything alright?”  
“That would be your ex-husbands boss.”Tig answered, his tone quiet,”Apparently he's not satisfied with the answers that were given the other day.”  
“Shit.”  
“Relax.”Tig spoke quickly, his gaze locking with hers,”Got to relax, Tanya.”  
Nodding her head, she moved to bring herself to Tigs side, turning and watching the others underneath the awning of the clubhouse. Chewing on her bottom lip, she narrowed her eyes a bit, feeling his hand settle on her shoulder, and for a split second, she tensed up, before letting herself relax again. Everything inside of her was spinning, and what was suppose to be a good day was proving to be the exact opposite. How were they suppose to keep the death a secret if these people kept showing up and poking around. It didn't help that she didn't have much to give anyone around her. Joe had never spoken about his job, who he worked for, just that he was security, and the people showing up like this left her aching to poke around, to find out what it was exactly that she hadn't been told while the bastard had been alive. Seeing the three men in suits turn and start back towards the SUV they'd apparently arrived in, Tanya waited, nearly bouncing, for them to leave so that she could breathe again. When they were gone, she let out a small whine, and looked up at Tig.  
“How long do you think this will keep going?”  
“Don't know, but that's not something you need to worry about.”  
“It kind of is.”  
“No, you're safe, alright, trust me, you're protected.”  
“I'm trying to trust you on this one.”  
“As long as you're trying.”  
There was a few minutes of silence, before Jax and Chibs stepped into the office, Tanya glancing over to see Chibs shutting the door. She pressed her lips together, her chest growing tight as she took in the looks on their faces. It was a mix of angry and scared, and it left her heart pounding, her stomach turning. She didn't like where this was going, and as Jax took a second to light a cigarette, she tried to decide if it was possible to just hide behind Tig and pretend this wasn't happening. No, she really couldn't, and she knew this all too well. Sniffing a bit, Jax turned his attention on her.  
“You are heading up to the cabin, tonight.”  
“What cabin?”She asked, looking confused for a second, glancing between all the men in the room.  
“We've got a cabin out in the mountains, a safe house, you're going there tonight, and you are staying put until told otherwise.”Jax clarified, blowing the smoke out through his nose.  
“Why do I need to go stay in a safe house?”  
“Do you know who your husband worked for?”  
“No, he didn't tell me shit, I explained that already.”  
Jax gave a slow nod of his head, giving himself a moment to smoke on his cigarette. Tanya did not like where this going. There was never anything good that came from silences like this, from expressions like these men were carrying. She wanted to sit down, or maybe throw up, she wasn't sure, her hand coming to her stomach, pressing down on it as if that would ease the feeling that was building inside of her. She felt that hand again, on her elbow this time, just for a second, and glanced up at Tig, who gave her a small nod, silently telling her to relax again. Turning her attention back on Jax, she frowned a bit, waiting to see what he was going to say.  
“Your husband worked for the Italians, they run New Mexico, Arizona, and the southern half of California, they're at odds with the cartel and with the Russians that are up north here.”He explained,”Your husband was muscle for the mafia, and we offed him, which puts these assholes right at our doorstep.”  
“I didn't know, I'm sorry...if I had known, I would have figured out something else.”She spoke quickly, her eyes wide as she stared at Jax,”Why do I need to go to this...cabin for?”  
“Because they're looking for you, and they want answers out of you.”He spoke slowly, giving her a pointed look,”You understand?”  
“You think I'd tell them anything?”  
“You would if they cut your fingers off one by one.”  
“Oh...”  
Nodding his head, he motioned to Tig, who took her arm again, guiding her out the side door of the office, into the garage, and he shut the door behind him. Looking up at him for a moment, Tanya almost blurted out another apology. It felt necessary, she didn't know if it really was or not, but in her head, it made a lot of sense. Tig turned her to face him, his hands moving to rest on her shoulders.  
“I'm going to take you to your apartment, you're going to pack up some clothing, and I'm taking you to the cabin myself, alright?”He explained, nodding his head,”There is going to be someone with you at all times until we can get these assholes out of here.”  
“Okay.”She responded, wanting to fight a little because she felt like this was a bit much, but with the way everyone had been looking at her, she realized she wasn't getting an option here,”Alright, whatever you think is best.”  
“This is best, it keeps you out of sight, we'll handle these guys, and push them back down south where they belong.”He stated firmly, before turning her and leading her out of the garage, and towards his bike,”It's going to be alright Tanya.”  
“I hope so.”She sighed, shaking her head.


End file.
